Imagine an onion, and consider the numerous layers you have to peel away to reach the depths of it. When this image comes to my mind, it reminds me of all the “layers” that we as caregivers “peel away” when working with families. Whether it be seconds, minutes, or even hours, it is crucial that we take the necessary time to establish rapport with the families before proceeding in the donation process.

This “peeling away” concept also occurs within this committee as we serve this health system. We must identify the struggles and hurdles of this process along with various associates’ feelings toward donation in order to have successful outcomes. Even though this is not always easy, may we always know that we do not have to “peel layers” with the Lord, but we can openly share our feelings with Him, trusting Him to guide us through these trials.

Shall we pray:

Lord,

Guide us during this meeting in peeling back the layers of difficulties we may be facing at this time regarding donation processes in our hospital system. Give us wisdom with these challenges, and help us to best lead and serve as donor champions throughout St. Vincent.

In Your name we pray,

Amen.

Throughout my childhood, my family and I made several trips to the small town of Canton, Missouri, where my grandmother and a couple of great uncles and aunts resided. During every visit, one of my favorite activities was to ride with Uncle Late in his pick up to his garden, known as the “Acre,” where we would spend time together picking vegetables to eat at a later time. This year, for the first time ever as a way to relish in this childhood memory, I decided to branch out of just growing flowers and try my hand at a small vegetable garden by planting some green bean seeds. As I observe these seeds now growing, not only do I miss this great man in my life, but I also treasure the memories of quality time with him as well as the words of wisdom that he spoke into my life.

As associates here in the ICU, each of us have skills and knowledge that we bring to the unit—whether it be medical, laboratory, administrative, leadership, therapeutic, respiratory, or supportive gifts. However, we did not reach this point alone; we may have gained these skills through another’s mentorship, instruction, or inspiration into your life. Reflect on how you reached the position that you hold today. What motivated you to reach this point? Who guided you along the journey and offered words of direction?

Whether or not you had a specific individual that journey alongside you, there is one Guide who will always travel the path with you, especially through unknown territory. He is only a whisper away and will not mislead you if you continuously seek His direction. The Lord does state in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God is always available to mentor and support you through whatever challenges you encounter professionally and personally!

As a child, my family visited my mother’s mother on a frequent basis.  During one weekend visit, my grandmother placed cloth napkins at the table setting.  Having grown up with paper napkins and then upon seeing the cloth ones, my younger brother Andy and I asked, “What are these?”

            “They are napkins,” my grandmother replied.

            This dialogue repeated itself for a few more meals.  Finally, after the question arose again, my grandmother threw down the napkin and yelled, “That’s it!  We’ll stick with paper ones!”

            Contrarily, here in the ICU, we constantly face the continuous changeover from “paper napkins” to “cloth” ones, and we cannot go back (i.e. Quest, Symphony, etc.).  However, whether the changes seem appropriate or not, let us always keep in mind the long-term goal of constantly improving the care we provide to our patients and their loved ones.

Tonight, I worked with the sister of an organ donor.  She shared about the patient’s generous spirit and her willingness to support various family members.  Then, as the medical team prepared to go to the OR to begin the actual procurement process, the sister looked at me and commented, “It is amazing what they can take.”

Looking back at her, I replied, “It is amazing what families will give.”

Reflecting upon this brief interaction, it parallels in description what happens here in the hospital on a daily basis with each of our patients.  Some patients “take” drugs, time, and energy to begin the recovery process.  Others take our guidance and knowledge about their illnesses and choose a path that concentrates more on their quality of life, rather than quantity.  Unfortunately, some even take our resources only to return to their unhealthy lifestyles.

Now, on the other hand, as a member of the medical team, you are a giver.  You give of your skills and knowledge to help a patient and even family through a critical period.  You sacrifice numerous, tiring hours from your own family and friends to best serve as a team member here in the ICU.  You constantly give, give, give…without expecting anything in return.  Yes, I do realize you give all of these things and more in hopes to help the patients with their critical medical conditions, but as you know, sometimes the Lord has other plans.

So, bottom line is…it is absolutely amazing what each of you gives to our care receivers and their loved ones as well as to other team members.  The Lebanese poet and novelist, Kahlil Gibran, quotes, “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”  With the sincere hearts of giving that each of you displays, we together embrace the bodies, minds, and spirits of all whom we encounter daily, thus, creating an enriching, healing environment through our sacrificial gifts.

It was another beautiful Sunday morning, and I, again, could not attend church.  Confined by a body cast that started at my waist and went to my toes, I was limited to when and where I could travel.  Therefore, my father remained at home with me while my mother and five year-old brother, Andy, attended worship.  Disappointed by this, Dad cheered me up by playing Super Mario Brothers with me on our Nintendo set followed by watching the beginning of the Indy 500 together.

A few hours later, upon them returning, Andy exclaimed to me, “I made something for you!”    He then handed me a medium-sized rock that he had painted with vibrant colors earlier that morning.

Still cherishing today this gift that Andy gave me, it reminds me of the gifts we offer each other here in the ICU.  Some have skills in listening or perception.  Others possess the ability to teach and offer nuggets of wisdom.  Some demonstrate quick learning abilities while performing tasks on a computer.  Others display a comforting presence to those who are mourning.  Through the variety of colorful gifts that every individual brings to the unit, we together then form a rock-solid unit that serves various populations while together meeting different needs.  It reminds me of the passage 1 Corinthians 12:15-20:

“Now if the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.” 

So, what skills do you bring with you to the ICU?  What abilities do your fellow colleagues demonstrate in their work?  In what ways do you or can you mesh these gifts for the greater good of the team as well as those in our care?

The concept of time…is it a gift or a curse?  Imagine being a patient with a terminal illness, awaiting the much needed organ to survive.  You may be thankful for every breath of hope that can be shared with family and close friends while earnestly desiring and praying for the miracle.  Now, contrarily, imagine being the family of a loved one who is only alive due to the work of the machines.   The clock is ticking away, and you know that, while you have this chance to verbally express your final thoughts and feelings, death is quickly approaching.

Time…is both a gift and a curse.  It works both for us while, simultaneously, working against us.  Therefore, may we use these moments of life with great wisdom, so we can provide better care in those moments that may soon bring finality.

When watching television, the Energizer Bunny always brings a smile to my face. These commercials always portray the bunny as constantly on the go—never pausing nor taking a moment to breathe—due to the battery. Similarly, in the realm of donation, we as donor champions are like this—constantly responding to donation issues and questions at all hours as well as fighting for the lives of those in need.

However, we do not thrive on an everlasting battery. We require recharging our own energy through various means of self-care. So, I encourage you to ponder on what gives you energy during those difficult cases, and return to your reliance on that/those source(s) to provide you with the necessary charge.

Shall we pray:

God,

No matter what energizes us on a daily basis, may we remember that You are the ultimate source of life. Please recharge us at this time as we proceed further in another discussion regarding the donation process.

In Your name we pray,

Amen.

Several years ago, shortly after purchasing my very first vehicle and gaining the ability to drive, I went on a retreat with a group from college.   On the way home, with my friend Becky snoozing in the passenger seat, I cruised along the highway, following as the road led. 

Over a half hour later, Becky awakened from her nap and asked, “How far are we from home?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you even know where we are?”

“Nope,” I replied with a grin, confident that we would eventually reach our destination.

Despite the huge detour we made as well as the additional time it took to return home, I knew I would eventually accomplish the task, and I even enjoyed the new discoveries along the way. 

Doesn’t this story symbolize what we have been experiencing this week with all the changes in Quest?  Even though these changes have not been easy and have altered the way we perform patient care, I personally do know that I have made many new discoveries this week and truly believe that these change will benefit our patients in the long run.   Moreover, we have the support and companionship of each other to guide us through the process.  Though change is never easy, it is an inevitable part of living, especially regarding our professions in the medical environment.

Therefore, we must determine our attitude towards these changes; as I have heard, “it’s not the situation itself but how you respond to it.”  My father frequently quoted to me, “Attitude is everything.”  Along these lines, in an excerpt entitiled “Attitude,” Charles Swindoll stated:

“…The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude … I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you … we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

So, despite all the stress and anxiety over these changes with Quest and our patient care, we all have one of two choices to make: be miserable through these changes or relish and build on the new learning opportunities that we have in our ministry to the community and with each other.

What choice will you make?

It is totally up to you!

After completing my Bachelor of Arts in English at Salisbury State University, I continued further in my educational pursuit to obtain my Masters of Divinity in hopes to work in a full-time ministry career. While making a decision on what internship to pursue as part of this graduate degree, I spoke to both a professor and the director of Career Services on separate occasions but on the same day.

They both inquired, “Have you considered hospital chaplaincy?”

Having had at least thirteen surgeries and over twenty hospitalizations, I responded to both of them, “Are you nuts?! All of my life I have been trying to get out of the hospital. Why would I want to work in one?!”

Finally, after some consideration about chaplaincy, I applied and served as a chaplain intern during the summer of 2002. This has been one of the best opportunities to which both my professor and director could have guided me! Not only do I share with others my gifts of caring and writing, the Lord has availed me multiple chances to empathize and understand patients and their families by reflecting on my own experiences as a patient. Today, as I reflect on those early childhood struggles I experienced, I laugh in admiration and continue to praise the Lord for how He has sculpted my life—never ceasing in molding me to a path of complete service to Him. Particularly, it is ironic how, during my early years, I dreaded going to hospitals to receive evaluations and treatments from a plethora of medical staff—searching for every opportunity to escape from there, and now, God has opened the door and given me the willingness to walk freely into this same place to serve those experiencing their own complex journeys.

Despite finding out my passion and responding to my calling to pursue chaplaincy, I had to consider various areas relating to the professional field in order to succeed along this path. On a practical note, I learned that a person with a disability needs to examine the physical setting and environment of the career. Is the facility handicap accessible? Are there plenty of handicap parking spaces? Do the parking spaces have additional space for me to lower my ramp and unload my chair? Despite having the support and enforcement of the Americans with Disabilities Act, one needs to check that he or she can easily access the entrances, elevators, ramps, bathrooms, and even office shelves.

In addition, along with the usual matching of one skills and interests to a future career, an individual who lives with physical challenges must further consider the physical tasks that need to be completed within the scope of the career selection as well as what accommodations he or she as well as the employer needs to make. For example, when pursuing hospital chaplaincy training, I quickly discovered the importance of one’s physical appearance, so I had to find clothes that appeared professional while also permitting me to function independently. Specifically, despite having a tool that helps me with buttons, I learned that elastic pants are easier for me. Further, I wear nice, neutral-colored tennis shoes since my braces do not coincide with dress shoes.

Moreover, as I began actually performing in my position, I developed my own unique ways of fulfilling the various responsibilities while meeting my own needs. In regards to actually giving pastoral care, when entering the room on my scooter, I find myself usually offering care from the end of the bed so as to not shuffle furniture nor interrupt communication with visitors. While I may not be able to physically touch the patient from this perspective, I have discovered that I can usually hold direct eye contact with them as well as place my hand at the end of the bed when offering prayer. Furthermore, when needing to rest from walking awhile, I sometimes sit next to a visitor to offer him or her care. This permits me the opportunity to reach the hurting individual both physically and emotionally as well as not interrupt my mission of pastoral care. Using opportunities of needing personal assistance, I find myself checking on staff while getting needs met. An example –when I request assistance with putting on a gown before speaking with a patient in isolation. While he or she ties the gown, I check how the staff member’s day is proceeding.

Along with determining the necessary adjustments that I personally had to make, I learned quickly, at the beginning of my career path, the importance for an employer to have an openness towards working with those who have physical challenges and to possess an accommodating spirit. For instance, during a phone interview with a hospital in the western part of the United States, the interviewer held a brief conversation with me and, despite my objections, hastily determined that I was not a good fit for the position due to the possible effects that the altitude might have upon me physically. Contrarily, during my in-person interview for a residency position in Indiana, one interviewer questioned how I would handle my on-call responsibilities due to my struggles with stamina and swift walking. I responded, “If you let me use my motorized scooter, I might get there faster than the doctors can.”

Overall, for a person with physical challenges to successfully maintain a career, it is similar to that of balancing a scale, possibly with the employee’s side weighing a little heavier to demonstrate his or her worthiness in the role. It involves a give-and-take process for both the employer and employee in order to meet the same goal with the best outcome. The scale will never balance if either side refuses to be flexible and unwilling to adjust.

Last Saturday evening, my fiancée Jeff and I decided to venture out to the Super Bowl Village.  Oh, “venture out” is definitely what we did; this actually may be an understatement!  Despite rolling in our wheelchairs over a mile away from where we parked, we eventually reached the Village.  However, due to the huge number of people as well as the very chilly weather, we quickly decided to turn around and return to the van.  Little did we know, we headed in the completely wrong direction!  We ended up smack in the middle of a massive crowd of bystanders who were present for the Patti LaBelle concert!  Not being able to move forward nor backwards, we were trapped.  A few others, who also wanted out, attempted to make a pathway for us but ended up in heated arguments right beside us.  Several minutes later, with much wisdom and perseverance, one gentleman pressed forward to retrieve assistance from security.  The officers then rescued us from the angry crowd and escorted us to a safety zone where we remained until the end of concert.

Reflecting upon this incident and relating to our work here, I was keenly reminded of the verse Psalm 46:10 that states, “Be still, and know that I am God.”  Since I could not move out of this situation on my own, I was forced to “be still” and trust that the Lord would guide me out safely.  Similarly, when we encounter difficult circumstances at work, we sometimes must pause briefly, believing that the Father as well as our colleagues will journey alongside and guide us through these struggles.

Moreover, when overcoming troublesome circumstances, it involves not just a few leaders but a whole “village” to work together.  Specifically in this situation, even though the gentleman and security initiated the rescue, it also involved the movement of the crowd in order for Jeff and me to gain freedom.  Likewise, here in the ICU, it takes not just a few individuals to provide the necessary care but a whole interdisciplinary team—with great wisdom and perseverance—to meet all the needs of the patients and their loved ones.  Partnering together does not just ease one’s burdens but everyone’s loads.

As we continue to enjoy the local thrills of holding the Super Bowl here in Indy, may we also remember to work as a team by huddling together to accomplish the common goals of each patient.  Hence, let us take this voyage together as one single village!

Last week, I had the privilege to journey alongside a grieving family facing the grim prognosis of their loved one’s condition up through his death. At one point, upon receiving the news of his “brain death” from the physician, the stepfather declared, “We need some hope here. This has all happened so quickly. Where can we find some hope?”

Reflecting upon this difficult situation, I came across the following quote by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” This proves true not just with this case but with all families facing the pending death of their loved one. Hope is definitely infinite. However, how can one acquire this type of hope? It may come through their faith and/or support from others. However, it also come through each and every one of us—through our empathetic listening, kind and understanding words, supportive touch, and extraordinary acts of service. We offer hope by directing the paths of the patients’ care and helping families move forward beyond the walls of this hospital.

Good communication is greatly emphasized on both professional and personal levels.  Many times, we believe we have clearly communicated our thoughts and desires but later learn that they were misperceived by the recipient(s).  Additionally, in our line of work relating to the medical field, we believe that someone has updated the family regarding a patient’s condition but later discover that this has not happened for one reason or another.  George Bernard Shaw, a well-known writer, best summarizes this by stating, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

With respect to this dilemma, I received the following fictional but humorous story via email that clearly describes this scenario:

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” 

The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?” 

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Norma Findlay, Room 302.” 

The operator replied, “Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse’s station for that room.” 

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, “I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow.” 

The grandmother said, “Thank you. That’s wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news.” 

The operator replied, “You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?” 

The grandmother said, “No, I’m Norma Findlay in Room 302.  No one tells me anything.”

 Even though this situation would probably not happen in our facility, it caused me to reflect on the interactions we, as the medical team, have with our patients and their loved ones.  So, do we provide clear communication to others and especially to those in our care?  What can each of us do to enhance our skills in this area?  While every patient and/or family is unique and usually requires various listening/questioning techniques to communicate a message, it is important to always consider two things: 1) Good communication begins with each and every one of us as care providers, and 2) As members of an interdisciplinary team, we all are striving for one common goal—to provide the best care and support to each of our patients and their loved ones.

A nurse recently emailed me the following story that I would like to share with you:

“A man was invited to visit heaven and hell. He first went to hell where he saw a beautiful table covered with wonderful foods.  There were long-handled spoons with which to eat the food, and this was the only way you were allowed to eat. The tortured souls wailed and anguished with hunger despite all this food because the spoon handles were too long! He then went to heaven where he saw the same kind of table and the same long-handled spoons.  Yet, these souls were quiet and well-fed because they had learned to feed one another with the long-handled spoons.” 

In relation to the ICU, every associate comes to our floor with various gifts, tools, and knowledge that impact the patient/family experience.  If we only tap into our own resources without gaining assistance from others, we will not just negatively impact and frustrate the patients and families but ourselves, too.  We will become overwhelmed, stressed, and fatigued attempting to accomplish the task alone.  Contrarily, if we “feed” into each other’s work by offering and providing assistance, we will ease the load for everyone as well as enhance the morale on the floor.  Therefore, I leave you to ponder two final questions:

What type of unit do you want to work in: a “hellish” one or a “heavenly” one? How will you use your “spoons” today?

As a woman who has been physically challenged all her life, I grew up with great support from my family, friends, therapists, physicians, and others who all guided me in my decision-making process and provided an extra hand in my daily living needs.  However, as I transitioned into adulthood and moved to Indianapolis to pursue my career development, I began facing the realities of my disability alone and quickly learned new coping strategies to enhance my independence.  Over the next few months, I have been given the opportunity to share my struggles and the ways I overcame them, especially in the areas of the physical, professional, personal, and perception.

When I first considered moving to Indianapolis and later a different side of the city, I began searching possible living accommodations.  Despite the backing of the Americans with Disabilities Act, this proved to be more difficult than originally thought.  For example, many apartment complexes either did not have a handicap accessible unit or made only a few modifications to get around the law.  Specifically, several did not have grab bars in the bathroom nor lowered cabinets that I could reach.  Further, they may have had handicap parking spaces, but few had enough room for me to lower the ramp on the passenger side of my van.  Therefore, I promptly discovered that I had to check out the facilities myself and not rely on the information provided on the internet.

 On another level, after a short time of living on my own, I acquired the motto: “Expect the unexpected.”  In particular, when dressing myself, I use a sock-aid to put on my socks, and occasionally, it would break in the midst of this task.  During another occasion, when preparing to drive to work, I went to my van only to find I could not get in due to the ramp door being frozen shut.  Thus, since my parents were no longer available to physically assist me, I had to develop back-up plans, such as buying an additional set of adaptive devices and/or having friends and/or neighbors to call in emergencies.

 Now, in regards to my medical needs relating directly to my disability, I sought advice and attention from various specialist who worked at Shriners’ Hospitals in different parts of the country.  As an adult, I no longer could receive these services due to my age and quickly comprehended the complications of the medical world.  Hence, when attending an appointment, I check-in, wait, am led to a private room, wait, am examined by the physician/nurse who usually has not heard of the term “arthrogryposis,” explain my diagnosis, realize that I probably will need a second opinion…the cycle continues.  Thus, with all the waiting done here, how appropriate that the medical world uses term “patient!”

 Overall, despite the plethora of struggles I have encountered regarding the physical aspects of my disability in adulthood, I have acquired three principles that have assisted me through various dilemmas.  First, do the research.  Use the internet as much as possible before exerting energy, time, and gas to check out the resources.  Second, consult with previous support systems (i.e. physicians, therapists, specialists, etc.) that were helpful during your childhood, and ask their recommendations for options for adults facing similar challenges.  Third, network with other adults with physical challenges, and ask them how they handle certain situations.

Over the last five years or so, as a hospital chaplain, I have walked alongside numerous individuals and families enduring a wide range of crises in life.   I offered a supportive presence to a woman who was learning to speak with a tracheotomy.  I prayed with a family before their child underwent major surgery and then rejoiced with them a week later as she walked across her room.  I baptized an adult before he died.  I performed a “Blessing of the Hands” ceremony for a group of nurses before the beginning of their shift.

Thus, with these difficult experiences, many have questioned, “How do you do it?  How can you handle seeing all the suffering?”  I still recall the day that hospital chaplaincy became a possibility in my mind.  Sitting with two different individuals—one professor and a career advisor—during two different hours to discuss possible internships for seminary, each asked, “Have you considered hospital chaplaincy?”  My response to both of them: “Are you nuts?!  All of my life I’ve been trying to get out of hospitals, and now you want me to work in them?!”  Having been hospitalized over twenty times and having endured numerous medical procedures, I never understood growing up why God placed a caring but competitive spirit in a physically challenged body.  However, I now realize that Lord is working through me in order to best personally relate to the patients and their families, offering them a sense of perseverance through their crisis.

No matter how tough the battle becomes, may we always know our Great Warrior will prove tough enough to overcome all evil.

Father, I give you the burdens I face today.  Walk with me, granting me wisdom, to overcome.  Demonstrate Your faithfulness, even when I may not sense Your presence.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

With the arrival of the new year, many people focus on beginnings—a time to establish goals with an optimistic outlook and a period of high hopes for a better future.  However, what happens when you do not experience this perspective?  How do you tend to those feelings of insecurity?

Personally, I confess to having these feelings of doubt at the beginning of my journey into 2012.  Over the last few weeks, I have assisted my fiancée with the process of preparing and packing for his ten-week venture to Fort Wayne to acquire training for the hopes of a better career.   Through this period, several questions have tossed around in my head as I have continuously communicated my concerns to the Lord.  “How will this impact our future?”  “How will this affect the current state of our relationship?”  “What are Your plans, God, with all of this?”  The emotional, mental, and physical disturbance of concentrating and attempting to prepare for the unknowns of one’s future only leads to stress and chaos along with a lack of calmness and peace.

Reflecting on the last few weeks, though, has guided me in reaching two conclusions.  First, the uncertainties in life parallel those that we face in the hospital daily.  Patients and families worry about their test results and new diagnoses, how they will cope and manage physically after leaving the hospital, and how this will affect their loved ones.  Associates, on the other hand, are continuously forced to prioritize and multi-task their current responsibilities along with preparing for those that will demand attention later in their shift.

Secondly, I have learned that the Lord will serve as the ultimate guide in our lives, especially though the unknown territories of our futures.  He will “never leave us [nor] forsake us” (Hebrews 13:5).  God further “appoints a time for everything” and “encourages us to trust in Him, not our own understanding,” and “He will direct our paths” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-15; Proverbs 3:5-6).  In Jeremiah 29:11, He further states, “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Reading these words of encouragement that the Lord has offered, I know I must never lose faith, for I am always sitting in the palm of my Creator’s hand.  I must realign the focus of my life with the motto “Let Go, Let God,” for He knows best what I need—even more than myself.  Thus, in this new year of 2012, I challenge you to embark with me on a journey that looks continuously to the Almighty One, following Him with certainty as He leads through all the uncertainties.

When we concentrate and work hard on a donor case, we tend to think of how it will greatly benefit the recipient. Have you ever considered how donation might benefit the family of the recipient? It provides more time together—both in quantity and quality. It permits the togetherness in the celebration of major events—births, weddings, anniversaries, and holidays. A wife may feel more secure in her future, knowing that she has a lesser chance of becoming a widow in the near future. The children and possibly grandchildren may now grow closer in relationships and have many more laughs with their parent or grandparent for a longer period of time. Therefore, may we not think of donation as a gift but as the gift that keeps on giving.

Shall we pray:

God, You are the Giver of all our needs, so I ask that You continue giving us wisdom in how to continue offering the gift that keeps on giving.
We ask this in Your name, Amen.

Have you ever gone to the tree on Christmas morning and realized that there was gift there that had not been there before—one that seemed to come out of the blue?  This illustration symbolizes for me what the recipients and their loved ones may experience.  They wait and wait and wait, and then, all of a sudden, an organ is available to them.  In this Christmas season, may we remember the preciousness of the gift of life and how what we do here does truly make a difference!

Let us pray:

Father,

Thank You for all the blessings You bestow upon us.  Specifically, thank You for the breath of life, and we ask for continued wisdom in being Your instruments in offering this gift to others.

In Your name we ask this, Amen.

It was Christmas Eve, and as a small child, I remember lying in the guest bed of my grandmother’s home with my mother at my side.

“I can’t get to sleep!” I eagerly exclaimed.  “I know Santa is coming tonight, and I’m supposed to sleep but just can’t.”

Listening intently, my mother suggested, “Honey, I know you’re excited, but you need to try to get to sleep.  Christmas morning will be here very soon.  Why not you roll over, and I’ll rub your back for a few minutes?”

In the midst of doing this, suddenly, I heard the faint jingling of bells on the rooftop.

“Santa’s here, Mommy!” I announced eagerly.

“I hear that, so shhhhhh…you need to get to sleep before he comes down the chimney,” my mother whispered while rubbing my back.  Within a few minutes, sleep eventually conquered my excitement.

As I reflect upon this memory, it symbolizes what sometimes occurs here on the unit.  After a catastrophe, an intubated patient lies unresponsive in bed while the medical team provides updates to the loved ones regarding the patient’s poor medical situation.  Hearing this news, family members sit in vigil at the bedside, praying for a different outcome and observing attentively for God’s intervention.  Then, after some time has passed, the patient twitches possibly his/her hand, arm, or eyes, and the loved ones rejoice over this movement, praising the Lord for His divine work.  It is in these miraculous encounters that only the Great Physician can take over and intercede further beyond our man-made efforts.  Thus, when our humanly hands have reached their limit, may we accept the hand of the Eternal One who has no limits.

During this Christmas season, I challenge you to seek those God-moments both here at work and at home.  Trust also the Lord through the tough times, knowing that He will either strengthen or carry us through them.  These instances not only offer hope and restore our faith but further provide us with moments of complete, utter joy that we can only receive from the Father Himself.  May this Christmas season be a joyful one for you where God manifests Himself in new and brilliant ways!

I remember it like it was yesterday—my most memorable Christmas eighteen years ago.

Nine days before the big day, my father strolled into the great room of our house, asking to turn off the television.  “Strange,” I thought to myself, “He usually just wants to change the channels.”  He then positioned himself on the arm of the couch, signaling my younger brother and me to draw close to him.  In a calm tone, he announced, “I lost my job today.”  While Andy broke into tears and expressions of fear, I became completely immobilized, standing in complete shock.  Little did I know, at that point, how much this moment would forever change my perspective on life.

From that evening forward, throughout the holiday season, my family ceased buying any more gifts.  We further simplified our purchases for daily needs, including buying cheaper bread that crumbled when you spread butter on it or even picked it up with your hands.  (By the way, just for your information…Cost Cutter Bread is no longer sold in stores!)

Most importantly, though, I learned the impact that relationships have upon one’s life, especially within the boundaries of the family.  My family and I pulled the bed from the sofa and laid upon it, all four of us together, while watching hours and hours of movies.  Thus, we learned the power of drawing love and strength from one another as well as being in the midst of another’s supportive, caring presence.

Having gone through this period, we further learned the significance of drawing love and strength from Another Who offers hope in all circumstances.  As Patrick Overton states, “Faith [is] when you come to the edge of all the light you have and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown.  Faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.”

While not all of us have the support of personal family during this Christmas season, may we acknowledge and reach out for the hands of our cohorts here in the ICU—our “adopted family.”  May we also remember that there is always One whom can provide support and comfort like no other.  May the Lord be our solid ground as well as our wings during this holiday season!

Do you remember when you first learned the truth about Santa Claus?  I was ten years-old, and it was around Easter time.  My fifth grade teacher asked, “Who believes in the Easter Bunny?”  The only hand that raised up was mine.  At that point, I realized I had a problem.  When I arrived home, I shared the news with my parents.  They confirmed my new discovery…the Easter Bunny is not real.

            “Okay,” I responded, “I can accept this.”

            Several months passed, and Christmas was now approaching.  Therefore, I started making my wish list, including an expensive toy which I do not remember at this time.

            Looking over my list, my mother commented, “Kristen, I do not think we can buy this one.  It is really expensive.”

            “That’s okay, Mom,” I remarked, “Santa can bring it.”

            “Honey, remember the talk we had about the Easter Bunny?”

            “NO!!!  NOT SANTA!!!” I shouted.  “I bet you’re going to tell me that the Tooth Fairy isn’t real, too!”

            While this incident proves to be humorous, it also illustrates what sometimes happens when one’s beliefs are shattered.  Similarly, many patients and families enter through our doors with an intense belief for a full recovery or at least one that allows for a good quality of life.  As we know, however, in many situations, this proves to be unrealistic, and we must serve as the face of reality and truth, helping and supporting families through their feelings of shock and grief.

            When I reflected on my mother’s approach towards giving me the truth as a child, I now realize that she demonstrated three primary ways of how we, in the ICU, provide honest feedback regarding the patient’s medical situation:

• Acknowledging and restating the facts…We discuss the medical diagnosis and condition in very layman’s terms that both the family and patient understands as well as answer any questions that arise, especially after a difficult conversation with the physician.
• Empathetic listening presence…In spite of all the demanding tasks, we strive to offer individualized care and concern for each patient and family member, attempting to comprehend and address their needs and desires.
• Compassionate tone of voice…We make the effort to remain as a calming presence by maintaining a voice that reflects the patient’s and family’s importance.

As a chaplain, I am further privileged to stand in the role of reminding families of God’s ultimate control in medical crises—no matter what decision they make regarding their loved one’s care.  Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us of this when the Lord states, “For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  This means that, even in the midst of death, the patient has hope by coming face-to-face with the Creator.

Therefore, with this Christmas season now upon us, may we all continue to offer hope to the patients and families in our care through both our actions and words.  May we also continue to believe in the Great Physician’s healing intervention—whether earthly or heavenly—at His appropriate time!

Last Wednesday, Allen the nurse, Angie the Respiratory Therapist, and I—along with many others—assisted in making one man’s and his family’s final wishes come true.  The gentleman was battling cancer for a third time in his life and was informed that, even with a trach and PEG, he did not have long to live.  Along with this, his premature granddaughter had just been released from the NICU.  Therefore, he and his family finally decided to go to hospice, so he could see his granddaughter one last time, for she had become his greatest joy.  After the man got settled into his room at hospice and before being extubated, the family brought in the beautiful baby girl.  With eyes focused on her, everyone surrounded the bed and watched the grandfather gently stroke the baby while the infant reached for his finger.  A quiet solemnity fell over the room as tears ran down the faces of several observers.  Several minutes later, the mother of the baby took her into the other room, and the medical team proceeded with extubating the gentleman with only his wife at his side.  Afterwards, as I said my goodbyes to the patient and his family, the man mouthed to me, “Thank you.”  He died about an hour later—around 2:30 pm—that same day.  It is sometimes in these most difficult and intimate moments that we ourselves receive the greatest blessings.

Shall we pray—

Lord, after having recently celebrated Thanksgiving, we thank You for Who You are and for how You interact with us in this world.  Let us silently reflect on a verse from Laura Story’s song “Blessings”:

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

In Your name we pray, Amen.

Leaves, leaves, leaves!  Around this time of year, as people stroll over these vibrant colors on the ground, they may start feeling overwhelmed by all the raking required as well as the upcoming bustle of the holiday season.  However, what can you do to enjoy this time of the year?  What are some of your favorite memories of autumn?  As a child, I recall helping my mother and brother rake piles of leaves and then fall into them.  We would further throw them into the air and watch a few stick to our heads as the remaining ones landed on the ground.  Thus, in the midst of the task, we enjoyed the moment.

So, what can you do to embrace all the “leaves that rapidly fall” here on the unit?  How can you prevent the multitude of daunting tasks from emotionally wearing you out?  What I’m about to share will not only increase the effectiveness of your patient care but also manage your own ability to handle the stress of both your professional and personal lives…that is, the 6 P’s!

Presence:  Maintain one’s full awareness to the patient, any visitors, and any needs or desires.  This may involve responding to a page a few moments later to assure that the patient is all settled in or adjusting the patient’s bed and/or tray to avoid a sooner return.

Pause:  Take a moment to breathe and bring your complete focus to the patient with whom you are about to interact.  You may wish to do this while rubbing your hands with the alcohol gel or while putting on an isolation gown.

Preparation:  Clear one’s mind of any distractions—professional and personal—to assure proper, effective care of your next individual patient.  Keeping a “Things To Do” list in a small notebook that you can carry with you and meeting your own physical needs as they arise, such as having a snack or drink, are two possibilities that may assist in this process.

Posture:  Carry one’s self to affirm the dignity and respect of the patient.  Direct eye contact and not watching the patient’s television reveals the primary focus for entering the room.

Power of words:  Speak terms and phrases that acknowledge, affirm, encourage, and maintain the individuality of the patient and his or her situation.  Personally, I would encourage you to watch the “Power of Words” video located on the front page of our Intranet.

Prayer:  Communicate with the Lord for guidance, wisdom, and comfort in caring for each of your patients.  This can be accomplished while driving to work, before entering each patient’s room, while sitting at the nurse’s station, etc.

While you may be just hearing of, learning, or continuing to use these six principles, may they help you slow down and treasure each moment.  May the 6 P’s guide you through the “leaves” of life and work in becoming a less stressed individual and more effective caregiver!

My boyfriend Jeff proposed to me the weekend before last (Sunday, October 16^th), and I eagerly accepted.  However, his whole plan began the day beforehand and obviously did not go as smoothly as intended.

Jeff had requested for me to keep that Saturday night free, and after we climbed into his SUV, he started the journey by giving me the first clue to the scavenger hunt.  He drove me to the various destinations as I figured them out, and by the third clue, we were standing at the statue of St. Vincent in front of the hospital.  Unfortunately, this is where the plans changed.

As I located and reached for the fourth clue, I lost my balance and fell backwards, hitting my head on the concrete sidewalk.  When Jeff picked me up from the ground, I also discovered that I had injured my upper right leg—the same one where I had received a total hip replacement a little over a year ago—and could barely bear any weight without much pain.  About ten minutes later, Jeff made the executive decision and drove me around back to the ER.  We spent over two hours there, learning that I had neither broken nor sprained anything but had a severe contusion where the surgery had occurred.  Therefore, Jeff’s original plan came to a halt, and he did not know when it would continue.

The next day, since medications assisted me in controlling the pain, Jeff and I decided to proceed with the plans.  After going to Seasons 52 for dinner, he surprised me with a horse-drawn carriage ride downtown near the Monument Circle.  Finally, we ended the evening by sitting next to a pond on the northside where he proposed and gave me red roses.

What twists and turns we journeyed through to arrive at the final destination!  Reflecting upon this endeavor now, I realize many patients and families encounter similar circumstances during their hospitalizations.  The patient comes to the hospital for a general procedure, which leads to experiencing some medical dilemma—such as respiratory distress—and making an unplanned trip to the ICU.

Furthermore, as I ponder upon the term “engagement,” it describes a period of truly becoming acquainted with one another and spending much time together.  Thus, in a generic sense, could we not use this same word here in the ICU?  As the medical team, we spend many hours, days, and possibly weeks “engaging” with families, learning about them as well as the patient.

Finally, even though Jeff did not prepare for the interruption in his plan, we both believe in the Lord’s prevailing will.  Likewise, as we engage with patients and families in working towards the goals of care, we must also trust in the Lord, resting in assurance that His intervention is purposeful and is greater than ours.

Recently, I was with a family who chose to take their loved one off of life support.  After the patient was extubated, the family re-entered the room and surrounded the bedside—some holding the patient’s hand as well as some at a distance.  With all the noises and chattering occurring outside at the nurses’ station, I helped to close the door to offer a quieter environment for the family.

Shortly thereafter, one family member turned towards the window and opened the blinds.  Observing this, it reminded me of the famous saying, “When God closes a door, He always opens a window.”  Thus, whether the “doors” close through death or just difficult circumstances, may the Lord use us to open a window of hope to the patients and families walking through these valleys.

Let us pray:

Lord, allow us to perceive Your closed doors as windows for other opportunities to open.

In Your precious name we pray, Amen.

Fall is here again with the air becoming brisk and the leaves displaying a plethora of colors. We also are starting to see pumpkins on front porches and throughout various stores. Speaking of pumpkins, a specific memory always comes to my mind—one that reveals how your chaplain is not as squeaky clean as you may believe!

As a freshman in college many years ago, I shared a dorm with my roommate Liz. Suddenly, one clear, chilly evening in October, Liz announced, “I want to go steal a pumpkin!”

“Okay,” I responded, “I’ll go with you.”

With her on foot and me on motorized wheels, we traveled down the sidewalk along the edge of campus.

“I know I saw it along here somewhere,” Liz commented. Thinking we’re looking for a plastic pumpkin, I intently scan the front porch of every house we pass.

Finally, she states, “There it is!” As she strolls confidently up to porch of a dark house to claim a good-size, real, carved pumpkin, the blood rushes through my veins with anxiety and fear as I read the sign posted in the yard: “The President’s House.”

Heading back to our dorm, Liz carries the pumpkin as I roll along her side. Suddenly, ahead of us, we notice the campus security approaching our direction. Liz then quickly places the pumpkin in my scooter basket and continues onward. We pass the security officers with no difficulty, and I release a silent sigh of relief.

While this incident makes for a great story around this time of year, as I truly reflect upon it though, I do regret how I did not stand up for my deeply-rooted values. I went along with another person’s poor decision as well as stole a personal belonging from someone else.

What choices have you regretted from your past? Looking back, how would you handle them differently? What about here at work? What type of image do you wish to present to your colleagues? A person who makes appropriate decisions based on his or her belief system or a person that attempts to “fit in” with the crowd? Even though we ALL make mistakes, let’s think of these errors of judgments as pumpkins. Thus, all of these pumpkins can form our own pumpkin patch where we each can do what we can to “patch up the past” and continue forward with better decisions in the future.

O Lord, I ask that You baste us with Your healing, comforting presence—not just our patients and families but our fellow co-workers who work so diligently to provide the necessary care. As things heat up in our lives both professionally and personally, continue to provide us with Your cooling presence. Soak us with wisdom as we handle each task at hand with delicacy. Pour out perseverance and strength as we experience periodic burnouts in our roles. Give us minutes of rest where we can just sit beneath Your face, receiving spoonfuls of Your love. In Your precious name I pray, Amen.

It was a tradition for two years straight while living in St. Louis several years ago. Every Saturday morning, my father and I would drive to the Chesterfield Airport Road Café, a dinky, hole-in-the-wall restaurant in the middle of nowhere that had wonderful food and even better service. Upon arriving to the place, our regular waitress, Buffy Zieres, observed us in the parking lot and had our coffee and hot chocolate on the table already as we entered. During our breakfast, my father and I conversed about events that happened in our lives, especially relating to work and school, and we further discussed dreams I had for my future as well as various challenges I may encounter through life’s journey. These moments not only offered an opportunity for learning and gaining in wisdom, but it also allowed a closer intimacy in our relationship.

Though not all of us have positive relationships (or even relationships at all) with our earthly fathers, we all have the opportunity to engage the Greatest Father of all. Even when we do not comprehend His ways, He loves all His children, desiring a relationship with us and longing to hear all our feelings—not just the positive ones—to various circumstances. So, have you considered setting a date with Lord? The Lord declared in John 6:35, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to Me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in Me will never be thirsty.” What about establishing a regular time where you can converse with Him, reading His Word and listening for the whisper of His Spirit? Similar to that of a positive relationship between an earthly father and child, the Father can give us rest if we just embrace Him in our weary, burdened states (Matthew 11:28). The Lord is available to us at any moment of any day, in our hectic and slow periods, in good and bad, in our professional and personal lives. Just come to Him, for His arms are always open to you.

Giving is the process of sacrificing one’s self and/or possessions for the benefit of another. This act is an incredibly selfless practice that asks for no compensation in return. The writer Maya Angelou further explains, “I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.”

This description of giving can be well-portrayed by families deciding to make their loved one a donor. Without any physical gain of their own, a family who chooses to donate can help meet the medical needs of another. In addition, this decision supports the family in their grieving process by knowing that their loved one continues bringing goodness and hope to another by living in a new way.

Most importantly, though, the act of giving is a true example of God’s love. In John 15:13, Jesus states, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. “ How true is this then when, with organ and tissue donation, one gives life to a complete stranger!

Let us pray:

Lord, You are the greatest giver of all and have demonstrated this through all the sacrifices You have made for us. Mold us to have Your giving heart, and guide us forward as we continue to enhance the life-giving process of donation. We ask this in Your name, Amen.

What patient and/or family encounter has impacted you most in your ministry of service?  A very powerful one happened for me last week when we cared for a very sick woman around my age.  I had to not only notify the family that their daughter was in our hospital but, throughout the day, provide emotional and spiritual support to them as they prepared to let her go into the Lord’s hands.

For me, many times, the more intense the situation, the more effective ministry I provide to those involved.  When the intensity arises, I have to remind myself of the importance of the cross.  As I look vertically to the Lord, I must minister horizontally to others as Jesus encouraged and supported those dealing with tragedy.  What is your motivation in serving others or your model to do this?

No matter what, serving others in need, especially here in the ICU, is a humbling experience where we minister to those in critical and desolate situations.  Despite our great exhaustion in this calling, Anne Frank offers a unique perspective to this: “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”   In what ways can we improve the ministry we provide here in the ICU?  How can you yourself improve the world around you?

Do you recall attending your first sporting event, especially if it was a professional one?  At six years of age, my father took me to my first major league baseball game.  Upon arriving, we stopped by the concession stand before locating our seats, which were along the first base side—only the second row behind the dugout!  As we settled in our seats and I observed the people in front of us, I glanced over to my father and said, “Dad, I wish you had gotten those seats in front of us, so I could have put my drink on the dugout!”  I had NO idea that my unmet desire was actually truly a blessing in disguise.

How frequently do we encounter unmet expectations here in the ICU?!  Like my father, we understand this “ballgame.”   We know each others’ positions and collaborate our efforts as a team.  We comprehend the different medical processes and procedures and how to make them work effectively.  Furthermore, we understand the variety of choices regarding medical interventions and the outcomes that emanate from them.

However, the child in the scenario can best represent the families.  Upon their loved one’s arrival to the ICU, they usually can feel very overwhelmed by their environment and may become anxious by the sights and sounds surrounding their loved one lying in the bed.  They do not comprehend the “rules” here in the ICU nor all the positions that we all play.

So, how do we bridge the gap between these two levels of comprehension?  Well, using the analogy of attending a ballgame, we not only play in the positions pertaining to our expertise, but we also serve as ushers and coaches.  We guide them through this massive territory, including locating the family lounge and the cafeteria.  In the midst of critical points in the “game,” we coach the families and patients by offering advice and explaining the various “plays” that are drawing near.

Now, what role do you see as the umpire?  That’s right—the Lord.  He always makes the final call.  As we serve in our assigned roles as well as coaches and ushers to those whom we serve, may we always remember to seek and draw upon the wisdom of the One who leads us through every minute of living!

A few years ago, my father shared his experience of doing his own laundry for one of the first times in his life.  After having finished some intense yard work and needing to prepare for his Saturday evening activities, he trudged into the utility room, began the washer, and threw his clothes in it.  Twenty minutes later, after showering and redressing, he realized he could not locate his wallet nor his keys.  “Oh no!” he suddenly shouted.  Dashing to the utility room and yanking open the washer, he searched through the arm-depth water only to locate…an empty, leather wallet.  For the next several minutes, he continuously reached into the warm soap suds and retrieved his keys, driver’s license, individual dollar bills, photographs, and an array of other objects, placing them on a towel to air dry.  In order to quicken the drying process, he even threw his wallet into the dryer!

Having laughed many times over this incident, it also raised the following question:  How do we respond to chaos?  Some of us depend on humor—lightening the heaviness of the situation to ease the tension.  We tease each other and laugh together over our own experiences to release the stress of providing care in life-and-death situations on a regular basis.  Some require time alone to reflect on the similarities of their lives with the patients’ and how their care impacts those whom they serve.  This may involve sitting in silence, journaling, reading, or even praying.  Some lean towards coping through conversation, receiving the assurance from their colleagues regarding the care they offered during the crisis.

While the responses to these critical moments may vary from one individual to another, chaos does allow all of us to do one thing—that is, to display characteristics of our true selves to the rest of our team.  It reveals the take-charge personalities when a patient is coding.  It points out those who truly possess the skill of prioritizing and delegating when the medical world places simultaneous demands for our patients.  Chaos offers moments of creativity when a person may have to transfer a patient alone along with all the personal belongings.

The author Henry Miller states: “Chaos is the score upon which reality is written.” Thus, the reality for us is that we do serve in an area that does have a great deal of chaos at times.  Embrace these moments, though.  Allow yourselves to demonstrate your differing gifts and abilities during these hectic periods, for our differences bind us together into an effective team, and no matter the outcome, may you always know that the peace of the Lord will accompany you to the end.

Tuesday, September 11, 2001.  A friend called and awakened me with the news—a plane had just crashed into one of the twin towers of the World Trade Center. Hours later, after finally waking up, I absorbed the images on the television of the twin towers crumbling to the ground, the plane crash in the field of Pennsylvania, and the devastation that occurred at the Pentagon.  Living in Virginia at the time, I became quite frightened as to what laid ahead in the near future and how this would forever impact our country.

Three years passed, and I just completed my first internship in hospital chaplaincy and was preparing to do another one.  Furthermore, during my first unit of hospital chaplaincy training, I learned about and fell in love with CISM (Critical Incident Stress Management) training as well as working in codes and the trauma bay.  Where else could I experience the thrill of the intensity of working with various individuals in the crisis moment?  Suddenly, I came across the book God @ Ground Zero written by Ray Giunta.  In this non-fiction account, “Chaplain Ray” shares his journey of various encounters at the Ground Zero site and how he ministers to the victims, families, and responders.  After reading this book, Ray’s testimony inspired me to further develop my crisis intervention skills and to apply them in areas outside the hospital.

Where were you on 9/11?  How did this incident impact you personally?  How did it change your skills or personae as a caregiver?

May we take some time over the next few days to reflect on the events that unfolded ten years ago and all the victims, families, and responders involved.  Whether directly or indirectly impacted, we will always remember how September 11^th has forever changed our lives.

I have a friend who was involved in a motorcycle accident recently and who is now in a local hospital.  Restless in the bed, she possessed a very dazed look and interacted very little with her visitors when I first visited her.

Last Friday, I visited Jane again, hoping and praying for just a small improvement in her condition.  Upon reaching the room, a visitor stood by the window with her back to the entryway, and Jane just laid motionless in the bed.  So as to not startle the visitor—whom I eventually learned was the cousin, I said, “Hello?”  Suddenly, with her eyes full of recognition and directly aimed at me, Jane raised her hand and waved!  I rushed to her bedside and took her hand, amazed at the drastic improvement in her alertness.

During my time with her and her cousin, Jane’s eyes remained focused on us, and she responded very appropriately via head movements to various comments and questions.  At one point, I asked her directly, “Do you remember me visiting you on Wednesday?”  She nodded affirmatively.

Reflecting upon this incident, two lessons I learned…

First, no matter how conscious or unconscious a patient appears, no one knows how much he or she is really hearing and comprehending.  Even when Jane was so restless, she obviously remembered my presence.  Speak as if the patient is listening, touch as if one is alert, and be present as if the individual will remember.

Secondly, and most importantly, the Lord can answer our prayers beyond our wildest dreams.  I only prayed for a slight improvement but was astonished by Jane’s deliberate interactions with others.  This reminds me of Christ’s statement in Matthew 7:7, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”  Though there are times when I wrestle with this scripture because the Lord does not always respond as how I perceive He should, I do know that He is the provider of all our needs, not necessarily our wants.  Always believe and trust for the Lord’s provisions—no matter how small!

This past Tuesday night, the call rang in around 10 p.m., informing me, “… was in a motorcycle accident last week.  She’s at…hospital now with multiple injuries and very little responsiveness.”  This was the first notice her church family had received from her relatives.  This same friend and I had just been out the night before the accident, celebrating and sharing dinner with a couple of other friends.  In a state of shock, I thought to myself, “I need to get to the hospital.  How is she really?”

As a chaplain of the ICU, I believed I was fully prepared for the sight.  I was familiar with ventilators, intubation, monitors, IVs, neck braces, restraints, etc.  However, upon arriving to the hospital and entering my friend’s room, the tears began forming, and I choked up.  Though I recognized the outer shell, there laid a woman whom I did not know.  The carefree woman with a gorgeous smile and wise insights onto life was not present.  Along with prayer, I attempted to connect through physical touch and encouraging, comforting words with this restless patient who had a dazed look in her eyes.

While I had some knowledge of what to expect during the visit, what do families whom have never experienced this feel and think during those initial moments?  They may endure a multitude of emotions, including fear, grief, anger, and anxiety.  The questions that race through their brain may be endless.  “What happened?”  “Will he be okay?”  “What are all the machines for?”  “Why is she not talking to me?”  “Will there be anymore surgeries?”  “How long will he be in the ICU or even in the hospital?”  “What will it take for her to recover?”  Some individuals may not even know what to ask.

During this encounter and then while updating others on our friend’s condition, I became keenly aware that we as associates can greatly influence others’ first encounters with their loved ones here in the ICU.  We have the privilege of offering medical interventions to the patients while learning about their personalities, values, beliefs, and life stories through our encounters with their visitors.  We can further lessen the impact that the interruptions of the medical world inflict upon the relationships by encouraging the visitors to read favorite passages, sing songs, speak words of hope and encouragement, and even just touch the patient.  Thus, we as associates are the bridges between the medical and the general societies, closing the gaps between the two worlds and stimulating the relationships to continue in a unique fashion.

Growing up, I was one of the most impatient people on earth. I did not like waiting for ANYTHING. I always said, “Patience is a virtue that I was never born with.” I despised the waiting game.

Isn’t it ironic how the Lord has placed me on this committee to serve in my later years, for isn’t this what we constantly experience? A waiting game where we have to patiently persevere in lining up the “pieces” before we can progress forward. One thing I know for sure: God must have a great sense of humor because He always takes us in a full circle of learning, hoping we will master skills that we didn’t achieve in our younger years.

Shall we pray:

Lord, be with us through these periods of waiting. Give us the strength we need through these trials. May we always know that, according to Psalm 40, You do hear our cries. In all of this through You we pray, Amen.

I read an article recently about the woman Charla Nash who received a face transplant after being attacked by her friend’s chimpanzee.  Imagine looking in the mirror with the visualization of all your physical characteristics but now seeing something totally new.

I challenge you to sometime today to really look at yourself in the mirror.  While your physical appearance will look very familiar, take a moment to consider how God is making you anew…how He is transforming you to be like Him.

Let us pray:

Lord, help me to see what you see in me.  You are the Great Potter, so mold me into what You desire for me and transform my mind and vision to be like Yours.  In Your name we pray, Amen.

I endured a long recovery during the months of May and June from hip replacement.  During this time, my mother and the family toy poodle, Muffin, drove here from Maryland to assist me through this process.  Now, I realize that watching TV or spending time in a hobby might pass the time away, but I never knew I could receive so much entertainment from a four-legged, puppy-like creature!

When most dog owners take their dogs out for a walk, they attach the leash, and the dog goes out the door, strolling continuously with the leash tailing behind from their master’s hand.  Oh no…not Muffin!  After her leash is hooked to her, Muffin wrestles with the line, snatching it in her teeth, and proudly holds it in front of her as she prances down the sidewalk.  Thus, who is the master here?!  A few times, near the beginning of my recovery when I was walking slowly but at a decent pace, Mom and I would walk the dog together.  However, we must not have been moving fast enough for her because, in the midst of the stroll, Muffin would suddenly lie down atop the pavement!  After walking only a few feet and passing her, we would have to actually call her to “come” in order to continue walking.

A chew stick?  Don’t dogs know what to do with a supposedly great-tasting piece of rawhide that becomes nasty-looking from the smothering of saliva?  Again…not Muffin.  When given her first chew stick, she took it peculiarly with her mouth, giving us this questioningly look as if to say, “What in the world is this?”  Within a day or so, she gained excitement from it nuzzling it with her nose and then tossing it forward as if she was playing fetch with herself!  Next, she began placing it near my hands and barking at me, saying hypothetically, “Come on!  Play with me!”  Whoever would have thought a chew stick became a toy!  Finally, a week later, she started chewing on it, probably thinking to herself, “Wow!  This actually tastes good!”

I further recall, one morning, where Muffin actually was my alarm clock.  I guess 8 a.m. was too late to be sleeping in because I was awakened to wet kisses all over my face.  She must have decided that one playmate was not enough for her.  Now, despite this instance, I do have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed most mornings with Muffin, for this was the time of day when she enjoyed cuddling up most to me.  Ahhh!

So, what “Muffin moments” have you had lately?  While these may not involve a dog or even necessarily a pet, they may have occurred with a child, a family member, or a close friend.  What about here at work?  These endearing, joyous moments that we share with our colleagues or even the patients and their family members are the ones that encourage us to persevere in the ministry we provide to our community.  May the Lord remove any veil from our eyes and allow us to experience continuous “muffin moments!”

I endured a long recovery during the months of May and June from hip replacement. During this time, my mother and the family toy poodle, Muffin, drove here from Maryland to assist me through this process. Now, I realize that watching TV or spending time in a hobby might pass the time away, but I never knew I could receive so much entertainment from a four-legged, puppy-like creature!

When most dog owners take their dogs out for a walk, they attach the leash, and the dog goes out the door, strolling continuously with the leash tailing behind from their master’s hand. Oh no…not Muffin! After her leash is hooked to her, Muffin wrestles with the line, snatching it in her teeth, and proudly holds it in front of her as she prances down the sidewalk. Thus, who is the master here?! A few times, near the beginning of my recovery when I was walking slowly but at a decent pace, Mom and I would walk the dog together. However, we must not have been moving fast enough for her because, in the midst of the stroll, Muffin would suddenly lie down atop the pavement! After walking only a few feet and passing her, we would have to actually call her to “come” in order to continue walking.

A chew stick? Don’t dogs know what to do with a supposedly great-tasting piece of rawhide that becomes nasty-looking from the smothering of saliva? Again…not Muffin. When given her first chew stick, she took it peculiarly with her mouth, giving us this questioningly look as if to say, “What in the world is this?” Within a day or so, she gained excitement from it nuzzling it with her nose and then tossing it forward as if she was playing fetch with herself! Next, she began placing it near my hands and barking at me, saying hypothetically, “Come on! Play with me!” Whoever would have thought a chew stick became a toy! Finally, a week later, she started chewing on it, probably thinking to herself, “Wow! This actually tastes good!”

I further recall, one morning, where Muffin actually was my alarm clock. I guess 8 a.m. was too late to be sleeping in because I was awakened to wet kisses all over my face. She must have decided that one playmate was not enough for her. Now, despite this instance, I do have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed most mornings with Muffin, for this was the time of day when she enjoyed cuddling up most to me. Ahhh!

So, what “Muffin moments” have you had lately? While these may not involve a dog or even necessarily a pet, they may have occurred with a child, a family member, or a close friend. What about here at work? These endearing, joyous moments that we share with our colleagues or even the patients and their family members are the ones that encourage us to persevere in the ministry we provide to our community. May the Lord remove any veil from our eyes and allow us to experience continuous “muffin moments!”

Recently, I recall attending to patients in the children’s hospital, strolling down an empty hall toward one of the nursing units.  Suddenly, behind me, I hear a child’s voice question an adult, “Why does she walk like that?”  As one who has lived with physical challenges all her life, including a walking impairment, I hear this question quite frequently.  While hearing the responses to this question can sometimes be difficult, I realize I cannot hide this quality about me.  Thus, I am the “real” me and do not believe in wearing masks—whether it be physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.

What mask(s) are you wearing today?  What is preventing you from showing your true self?  The French author François Duc de La Rochefoucauld explains, “We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.”  Further, when you allow yourself the freedom of displaying your true identity, you also permit the Lord to completely utilize you for His unique design of your life.  I challenge you, at this time, to follow the example of the phantom in Andrew Lloyd Weber’s opera….courageously remove your “mask” and be the REAL you!

Are you familiar with the well-known lyrics “The Heat is On…” sung by Glenn Frey? This line has come to mind a few times over last couple of months of having to battle this summer heat. On one of those days, with the heat index measuring around 110 degrees, my van was in the shop, so I drove my power chair from the hospital all the way to Michigan Street. (Yes, I know…just call me “Crazy!”) With the sun just glaring down and toasting my skin, I carried a tall glass of water with me, stopping every few minutes to prevent dehydration. Even in the shade, there was very little coolness!

Reflecting on this incident, I am reminded of the heat that we endure here in the ICU. A critical patient requiring the maximum life support, including every known pressor, suddenly codes. Family members press us for more information and demand more medical interventions. Phones ring constantly at all the nurses’ stations. A patient needs to be transferred to a rotoprone bed. Another patient constantly uses his or her call light. The list continues on and on.

So, how do you gain relief from this heat? Where is your coolness when the ICU is cooking? Personally, for me, it is fishing, traveling, playing games, reading, and “sciking” (better interpreted as using my scooter to go hiking). No matter what brings you relief, do it and notice the changes in your body and perceptions. The American author Vernon Howard once quoted, “What you really want for yourself is always trying to break through, just as a cooling breeze flows through an open window on a hot day. Your part is to open the windows of your mind.” Thus, be creative; for the more shades you find, the less burnout you will experience.

When the word “gift” comes to mind, most people think of birthdays, holidays, and special occasions where we honor individuals and their impact on our own lives. However, when families choose to make their loved one a donor and give the gift of life, have you ever truly considered the magnitude of this act? While attempting to respect their loved one’s wishes and possibly allowing his or her life to continue in a very unique way, the family, most significantly, is offering the gift of life to usually a complete stranger in the midst of their own grieving process. In essence, the decision to donate can best be described by Pierre Corneille’s statement: “The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.”

Let us pray:
Lord, thank You for the gift of life. Thank You further for the possibility to continue the life cycle through donation. Continue to give us wisdom and compassion as we help support the families who provide this gift to others. With gratefulness we pray all of this in Your name, Amen.

Accepting one’s limits is critical in one’s role, especially here in the hospital.  Several years ago, before working at St. V’s, I served as a PRN Chaplain for another local hospital system whose nurses would call in the assigned chaplain or any available local priest as needed.

During one shift, a nurse requested for me to come to the hospital since she could not locate a priest.  She said, “We have a patient dying here, and the family would like the last rites.”

“The last rites can only be done by a Catholic priest, and besides, I am not even Catholic,” I explained.

“Well, the family still would like to see a chaplain.”

Upon my arrival, I met the family who requested again for the last rites.  I explained that no priest was available, but I could try to do something similar, which they agreed to.  So, in my attempt to create the last rites, I read Psalm 23 and did a brief prayer service.  The family thanked me but then asked for a priest to come, if at all possible.

As caregivers, we are designed to help others.  However, may we also remember that we can only operate within our roles.

Have you ever heard of the children’s book The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein? It narrates how a living tree makes many sacrifices of itself in order to better the life of a maturing boy. As the tree gives her apples, branches, and trunk to the boy who uses them for his own personal gain, the boy continues returning to the tree, acknowledging her as the giver. This giving principles is also demonstrated in the consenting process of donation. Through this process, one’s sacrifice of what he or she no longer needs here on earth allows another individual to receive a better quality of living, thus, giving us the opportunity to express appreciation and gratefulness to the families who consent.

Shall we pray:

Lord, You are the Almighty Creator. You breathe life into us. Guide us as we strive to enhance the process of donating life to those in need. Amen.

An unknown person once quoted, “Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; you have fed him for a lifetime.” We, here on this [organ donor] council, demonstrate this statement. Not only do we serve as role models to our peers but we also “feed” the donation process for a “lifetime.”

Let us pray:

Lord, You are the Great Teacher of life. Show us today and forever more how we can best serve as donor champions. In Your name we ask this, Amen.

In the ICU, I recently journey alongside a woman who chose to cease medical interventions for her husband and place him in the Lord’s hands. “How will I care for this lady?” I thought to myself, “She only speaks Spanish.” Then, upon speaking to the nurse and learning that the wife did speak a little English, we shared in a few God-given moments. We prayed together and spoke about emotional issues through limited English and much eye contact. Through this, it became very evident that God’s love transcends all barriers.

Here, in the ICU, I recently journey alongside a woman who chose to cease medical interventions for her husband and place him in the Lord’s hands.  “How will I care for this lady?” I thought to myself, “She only speaks Spanish.”  Then, upon speaking to the nurse and learning that the wife did speak a little English, we shared in a few God-given moments.  We prayed together and spoke about emotional issues through limited English and much eye contact.  Through this, it became very evident that God’s love transcends all barriers.

I traveled to Dallas, TX, for the annual Association of Professional Chaplains conference recently.  However, not only did I attend but I presented one of the workshops there.  Full of anxiety due to this being my first national presentation, I arrived early to the room to set it up and to test the audio equipment with the audio team, who assured me they would be in the hall right outside if I had any difficulties.  Well, during the workshop, a continuous beeping starts occurring, which I cannot stop.  Interrupting the presentation, I step out into the hallway for assistance—microphone still attached to my blouse—but find no one there.  Releasing my frustrations quietly, I scurry down the hall.  Suddenly, one of my workshop attendees catches up with me, saying, “I’ll go find someone, and your microphone is still on!”

We all have these moments where we want to crawl beneath the table and never show our faces again.  While they are embarrassing ones, do you know what I call them?  Learning experiences—moments that shape and mold us personally and professionally to better define our knowledge, skills, character, and even attitude.  As we continue to endure challenges both professionally and personally, may the Potter continue to use learning experiences (not necessarily embarrassing ones!) to form us in His image and in relation to Him.

One recent day, the resident chaplain, Dean DeVries, and I were conversing about feeling tired, and Dean said maybe they should call the following code: “Attention all associates…Code Snooze, ICU Team 3!” Wouldn’t that be ironic?!

All of us, at one time or another, have felt like napping here at work. Phyllis George, who was Miss America in 1971 and a CBS sportscaster, states, “Life is what you make it: If you snooze, you lose; and if you snore, you lose more.”

However, I look at snoozing very differently; it serves as a time of restoration and rejuvenation. As followers of the Lord, Hebrews 4:9-10 explains, “There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from His [on the seventh day].” Therefore, in the midst of your enduring work and difficult periods of striving to meet various needs, may you continue to seek and relish in these moments—whether through conversation, laughter, eating, or drinking coffee—and enjoy the “snooze!”

Has anyone ever shown you a close-up picture of a familiar object, asked you to guess what it is, and then, a few moments later, revealed the a picture of the whole object, causing you to sit back in amazement?  As we focus on caring for both the patients and their loved ones, each of us can tend to concentrate on our own area of expertise in the provision of care, disregarding the other needs that require addressing—whether consciously or unconsciously.  May not just this hour but all future hours we serve here be a time where we can begin reflecting on the whole picture of care!