Several years ago, I was riding in the front passenger seat of my father’s car as he took us on an errand.  With the car in park and him switching his foot from the accelerator to the brake and back again, he asked me, “Can you do this?”

Slowly mimicking his action, I observed the concern upon his face.  How will I ever be able to drive? I thought to myself.  How will this impact my independence in my later years?

 It is in this type of situation that we find ourselves on a regular basis.  Patients can enter through our doors with massive and extensive injuries or with what appears to be minor ones.  However, as they remain in our care, their conditions can change within moments, which then may reflect on the quality of their future.

In every individual’s situation in life, there always remains a slight uncertainty of the future.  Consequently, though, we can trust that there is always a certainty in the hands of the Lord—“plans to give us hope and a future.”  It is this trust that I personally hold with the Lord, and today, I can honestly say that I do drive a vehicle with the use of hand controls and other adaptations.

Let us pray:

Lord, we come before you now and ask for your wisdom and assistance in bringing possibilities when situations appear impossible.  Be our guide today and forever more.

In Your name I pray, Amen

 

 

About thirty years ago, I recall being hospitalized for surgery on my feet and, thus, befriending my roommate who happened to be around the same age.  Before our procedures, we laughed and had fun together dressing as doctors with the hats, gloves, and stethescopes; this greatly eased our fears before entering the operating room.  Several days later, after being told that my new friend had chicken pox, I had to be moved to another room.  I still recall to this day my mother wheeling me by her room, and I stared through the window separating us, waving to her with tears streaming down my face.

As with this situation, families in the waiting area establish connections, especially during the lengthy hospitalizations.  They may rejoice together when their loved ones reach milestones, but they also support and encourage each other through the difficult days they face.  So, let us remember that, while we as associates develop bonds with other colleagues as well as our assigned patients and their loved ones, our visitors are an extension of us—a part of our own family residing right beyond the doors to our unit.

Let us pray:

Lord, as we gather today to unite as one team in serving those receiving our care on the unit, may we also remember how to best care and serve their loved ones.  Let us always acknowledge You as the Father of our family as a whole.

In Your name I pray, Amen

 

As caregivers, we observe losses on a regular basis with our patients and their loved ones. A family may choose to withdraw care and face the loss of a precious life. Due to their illness or a recent trauma, a patient can encounter the loss of functions in his or her physical body as well as the loss of independence and operating in their normal routines. Besides the physical functions, the patient and family members also face the impact of the medical crisis on emotional, psychological, social, and spiritual levels.

Not only, though, do we observe these losses in those whom are placed in our care, we are challenged with various losses both professionally and personally. We become attached emotionally to patients and their families and sometimes grieve over the different plan the Lord has for their lives. We encounter staffing and leadership changes and wrestle with anger, bitterness, and sadness that accompany them. We face our own difficulties in our home lives and may bring the lingering mental, emotional, psychological, physical, financial, and spiritual effects of them to our place of work.

Therefore, how do we work through these losses and transitions? Besides incorporating our own coping mechanisms, I encourage you to always keep in mind that, during our loneliest periods where we are in the greatest need, it is then that the Lord not only journeys alongside us but carries us through those moments.

Let us pray:

God, in the midst of all the losses and transitions that the families of these patients as well as ourselves are experiencing, I ask that we may experience Your countenance as You carry us in all of life’s challenges.

In Your name I pray,

Amen

Years ago, I moved to Indiana from Virginia and served as a resident chaplain for a local trauma center.  Not truly aware of Indy’s culture nor considering the approaching of Memorial Day weekend, one afternoon, I received a trauma page for a male driver in a MVA going over 200 mph.

“Oh my gosh!  Is this guy nuts…driving over 200 mph through downtown Indy?!” I thought to myself as I waited with the trauma team.

After the driver arrived, I eventually spoke to him, asking if he wanted me his family contacted.  Responding affirmatively, he gave me his mother’s number.  When I introduced myself and updated her briefly via phone, she thanked me for calling and hung up immediately.

“What in the world is happening here?!” I reflected in bewilderment as I returned the headset to its cradle.

That evening, as I watched the news, no local accidents matched the description of this situation.  Still puzzled, I continued listening when the sports announcer stated, “Today, at the track, the driver so-and-so crashed into a wall after racing over 200 mph…”

“I was talking to a race driver!!!” I proclaimed loudly in both shock and understanding.

Moral of the Story: Never race ahead without knowing all the details!

 

Have you ever considered the long-term impact our care has upon not just the patients but also their families?  Recently, I went to Cracker Barrel for dinner, and a couple stopped me.

“Aren’t you a chaplain at St. Vincent?” the woman asked.

“Yeah,” I responded hesitantly.

“I’m sure you don’t remember this, but you ministered to my husband and me before he received his new transplant.”

“Really?  I’m sorry; I do not remember,” I replied.  Then, looking to the husband, I questioned, “So, how is the new organ?”

“Great!  I feel so much better,” he answered eagerly.

Reflecting on this incident, the image of dropping a stone into a pond comes to mind.  The dropping of the stone symbolizes the direct contact we offer with those whom we serve, and through that ministry, the rippling of the pond represents all who are affected by our act of service.

So, today and in all the days ahead, may we always keep in mind the difference the Lord has made in each of our lives and, through this, be motivated to continue this rippling effect in making a difference in the lives of the people we encounter.  Furthermore, keep in mind the following quote by John Piper:

“You don’t have to know a lot of things for your life to make a lasting difference in the world. But you do have to know the few great things that matter, and then be willing to live for them and die for them. The people that make a durable difference in the world are not the people who have mastered many things, but who have been mastered by a few great things. If you want your life to count, if you want the ripple effect of the pebbles you drop to become waves that reach the ends of the earth and roll on for centuries and into eternity, you don’t have to have a high IQ or EQ; you don’t have to have good looks or riches; you don’t have to come from a fine family or a fine school. You have to know a few great, majestic, unchanging, obvious, simple, glorious things, and be set on fire by them.”

 

When I was a young child, my mother had to perform postural drainage on me at least a couple of times a day.  On one occasion, a neighbor observed my mother doing this—beating on my back to prevent fluid build-up in my lungs, and she became gravely concerned seeing this.  Immediately, she called another mother on the street who knew my family well, questioning her about this possible child abuse.  Upon hearing this, the mother chuckled and explained to the caller the medical reasons for this situation.

Similarly, when patients come through our hospital doors, all the hospital associates involved in the case are working alongside the EMS, public law enforcement, and other resources to gain all the truthful information about what has happened and how to provide the best care.  However, there are times when we receive the wrong information or conflicting details about what occurred.  Instead of jumping to conclusions in the midst of our uncertainty, let us always remember to check in with other members of the medical team when putting together this “puzzle.”  Most importantly, may we know that the Lord is a God of truth, and He will reveal the truth in all situations in His own timing.

Let us pray:

O Lord,

You are the Knower of all things and understand the truth in all circumstances.  Grant us the wisdom of Solomon as we work with various patients and families, and help us to see through Your eyes of love.  We also ask that, during this hour, You grant us insights in how all these disciplines can better unite together in providing for those whom need our services.

In Your name I pray,

 

Amen

Have you ever come across and/or worked with a patient and/or family that triggered a memory for you?  Awhile back, a few of my chaplain colleagues and I were walking down the hallway, and a transporter passed us, going the opposite direction, pushing on a cart a small, crying child with an anesthesia mask near his head.  Instantaneously, remembering my numerous surgeries and the fear I always experienced beforehand, my heart sank, and I totally empathized with this youngster.

I truly believe that it is in these memories which we can relate deeply to another’s pain.  We recall the feelings we experienced in those similar circumstances and can better comprehend their difficulties.  Basically, these are God-given encounters where we can journey alongside those who are hurting.

Let us pray:

Lord, in these difficult moments that we experience, help us to demonstrate your love and care to those who are suffering.  Use our own memories as anchors in which we can better connect and minister to those in need.

In Your name I pray, Amen.

 

 

Have you ever believed anything to be so true, even when it’s not?

Having celebrated Easter a few weeks ago, one memory always comes to mind during this time of year. When I was in the fifth grade, my teacher asked the class, “Who believes in the Easter Bunny?” I was the only one who raised my hand. Realizing that something was not right, I spoke to my mother about it when I went home. She explained to me that the Easter Bunny was not real. Upon hearing this news, I accepted it well and just continued on like nothing had happened.

Several months later, near Christmastime, I began preparing my wish list, asking for one expensive gift.  Upon seeing this particular item on my list, my mother commented, “I think this is too expensive.”

“It’s okay, Mom,” I responded, “I will ask Santa for it.”

“Do you remember the talk we had about the Easter Bunny?” Mom questioned.

“No!!!  Not Santa, too!” I yelled.  “I bet you’re going to tell me the Tooth Fairy isn’t real either!”

As I reflect on this incident, it is very similar to the approach we, as members of the medical team, have with families of our patients.  We share these bits of information with families on an as-need-to-know basis, or as we make the discoveries regarding the patients’ conditions and prognoses.  We also sometimes make conclusions that families who hear one piece of bad news understand the full picture of the grim prognosis.  However, like I still believed in Santa and the Tooth Fairy after learning about the Easter Bunny, families may still remain optimistic about the outcome of their loved one’s condition for various reasons: spiritual beliefs, cultural and/or language influences, distrust with the healthcare system, etc.

During these difficult conversations, it is critical for us to make no assumptions and “step out of our own shoes.”  We must come to them with a “clean slate,” learning about them and their perspectives through verbal and non-verbal cues in the midst of the conversation(s).  Most importantly, though, we must rely on the Holy Spirit for guidance and approach the families with the gentleness that the Lord demonstrated with those who are suffering.

A few weeks ago, I had the wonderful opportunity to minister to a patient and her family that started receiving care in the Trauma ICU and eventually transferred to the Medical ICU.  When the relationship began, the patient was awake and alert, and her husband and daughter were very hopeful for a full recovery.  However, the patient made a huge decline, and her family changed their perspectives by preparing for the end of her life.  During our various encounters, we discussed her and their faith along with the impact she made on this world, especially to numerous children.

On the day of her death, the family requested my presence and prayerful support during the terminal wean process.  After the nurse and respiratory therapist extubated the patient, I provided continuous emotional and spiritual support throughout the afternoon.  In the midst of reminiscing over memories with her, the family shared their love of music and their ability to play musical instruments.

“I’ve always wanted to be able to play a musical instrument,” I commented to them.

“It is never too late to learn,” the patient’s husband responded.

The family further reflected on how the patient served as the “disc jockey” since she never played an instrument but supported them in this gift.

As the visit came to a close, the husband looked at me directly and stated, “You do play music; you play music in the care you provide here in the hospital.”

What music have you played lately?  How is the Lord using you as an instrument in His symphony of life?

About a month ago, a page came across my pager, alerting me to a trauma code one from a motor vehicle accident.  Part of its description stated that the patient “arrested on the scene,” and this was followed by the word “compressions.”

Upon my arrival to the ED, I met up with the social worker Sister Cecilia and exclaimed, “Sister, can you believe it?  The police arrested this driver on the scene of the accident and then had to do compressions on him!”

Trying to hold back some of her laughter, Sister Cecilia explained, “It means cardiac arrested on the scene!”

“Ohhhh!” I responded.  “I should have known that.”

It is truly amazing the false interpretations that individuals make when receiving various forms of communication.  No matter how hard one tries, he/she can never absolutely guarantee that the receiver will correctly interpret the intended message.

One “receiver” who will never misinterpret our message is the Lord, for He truly knows our deepest desires—both spoken and unspoken.  So, let’s go to Him now in prayer:

O God,

Guide us all in our communication over the next hour.  Help each speaker to share his or her message clearly, and open our ears to hear these intended messages.

In Your name we pray,

Amen

 

 

On the way home from last month’s Trauma ICU unit meeting, I drove away from the Cardiology building along Naab Road, realizing that I could not even see the traffic light at the end of the street.  “How scary!” I thought to myself.  “I don’t remember the fog ever being this dense in Indy before.”

Reflecting on this drive, I discovered that this is what many patients and families experience as well as we as associates at times, too.  Patients and families come through our doors to receive our care but are uncertain about the “journey” of the hospitalization and even experience anxiety, fear, and grief over the medical procedures and processes they endure.  They journey through the “fog” of this hospitalization, not knowing the complete outcome.

As associates, we, too, go through a “fog” when caring for patients and families.  We do not always know the effect of a drug or the result of a procedure or test.  We then rely on our own expertise, knowledge, and skills.

One common guiding force, though, for the patients and families along with ourselves is the Great Physician.  He sees the entire situation—both now and the future—and always shines His Light, especially in the foggy patches of the journey.

Let us pray:

Lord, be the light we need at all times.  Guide us in following You, especially in the “foggy” times of life.  In Your name we pray, Amen.

Have you ever tried to carry or slide a large piece of furniture through a small doorway?  Frustrating, huh?  It may even feel impossible.

This is how I felt when trying to climb into a friend’s van one evening.  As many of you have probably figured out by now, flexibility is not my middle name since my joints do not bend well at all.  I usually comment, “I’m flexible…just not physically!”  When I came to the realization that I could not climb into the front of the van via the passenger door since the seat was too high, I used the wheelchair lift to raise myself into the vehicle, and then in order to climb into the passenger seat, my next challenge was to maneuver myself over the mounted platform between the two front seats.  Sitting on the platform, I slid myself into the passenger seat with my legs hanging the back.  My friend Becky then grabbed my legs and raised them over and onto the driver’s seat.  Realizing that I slid the wrong way to move my legs downward onto the passenger floorboard, I told Becky to lower the front passenger window.  Next, I wiggled myself partially out the window, trying to give myself enough space to lower my legs in front of me.  At the same time, though, due to some anxiety and fear, I instructed Becky, “If I start falling out the window, grab my leg!”  As this process continued, individuals began strolling by us, giving us strange glances.  At one point, I said “Hi, there” to one of them, and Becky and I started laughing hysterically.  Finally, after much effort, I got myself safely and securely into the passenger seat.

You may have never found yourself in this type of quandary, but I bet you have faced other obstacles where you have been forced to be creatively flexible.  Trying to function well in both your professional and personal schedules.  Accomplishing multiple tasks within a limited period of time.  Meeting the demands of multiple individuals simultaneously.  Completing a project or task without all the necessary tools.  Performing both relational and administrative duties at the same time.

The bottom line is best summarized in a quote by a man named Brian Tracy: “Be clear about your goal, but be flexible about the process of achieving it.”  Focus on the goal, and then work on the process.  Thus, it is in these moments of being creatively flexible that we can begin examining the endless possibilities of reaching the goal.

Several weeks ago, while walking through Walmart, I took a double glance at a woman that crossed my path, for she greatly resembled my grandmother.  Even though my grandmother died over ten years ago, this woman had her same hair color and style and wore a similar bright red, winter coat.  As the woman crossed my path, I felt the sense of loss and grief rise again within me.

No matter how much time passes, it only takes one familiar object, event, person, or tradition to trigger the grieving again.  Despite the continuance in the grieving, the familiarity in the memories also provides the strength and courage to move forward.  It is in the sharing of the memories that we keep the individual alive, and this aliveness allows the person’s spirit to always reside within us.

Let us pray:

Lord, we frequently work with others who are going through some stage of the grieving process.  Help us to remain attuned to them as they relish in their memories, and allow this time of listening to help them keep the spirit of their loved one alive.  May this time of grieving serve as the bridge to believing that they can continue along life’s journey.

In Your name we pray this,

Amen

 

A few months ago, I recall dashing to the Trauma ICU in response to an Adult Code One.  While the medical team was fervently working to revive the gentleman, I found his wife in the hallway, sitting by the window crying hysterically.  In the midst of her sobs, she questioned angrily and frustratingly, “Why would God take away a great man?  Why would He do this?” Holding her, I remained calm and quiet as her body convulsed against mine.  Finally, as she settled down, I looked directly into her eyes, whispering, “I don’t know why God is allowing this to happen, but I do know that He is in ultimate control and will carry you through this.”

Even though this man did survive, I sometimes question God’s plans and purpose for other patients and their families in our units.  While I often do not usually comprehend His future plans immediately, I remind myself that everyone on the medical team can offer a form of healing—whether physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.  The Lord has given each of us gifts in order to serve, to serve others like He has since the beginning of time.

Let us pray:

Lord, You are the Great Healer.  You breathe life, and You take it away.  I ask that each of us may be a vessel in pouring out Your love and healing to all whom come into our lives.

In Your name we ask this,

Amen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you recall the very first patient you ever served? I still remember it vividly to this day. At that time, I resided near Sentara Norfolk General Hospital in Virginia where I had been assigned to the Women’s unit. I met a woman who had recently given birth and was preparing to take her baby home. Scared to do so, we discussed her concerns as I provided a comforting, empathetic listening presence. At the end of our time together and with her experiencing much relief from her anxiety, she hugged me good-bye. Closing the door, I strolled away, knowing that I had served her well and realizing that I had probably found my niche as a hospital chaplain.

With Memorial Day approaching, many people tend to remember the fallen heroes that fought in various wars throughout the years. What about the living ones who continue to fight today? What about the medical heroes who stand daily on the battle lines for individual lives? Each of you is a hero! You march on the dividing line of life versus death, advocating for the patients an sometimes families as well as journeying through difficult ethical issues.

So, on Memorial Day, take a moment to reflect on your first patient or at least your early years in this career, and remember your purpose for responding to this call to battle!

Let us pray:

Lord, be with us right now. Help us humble our hearts before You. May we take this moment to reflect on the memories You bring to mind. We ask also that You prepare us mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to process the issues at hand.

In all of this we ask in Your name,

Amen.

One morning on my way to get into my van to go to work, it had snowed a few inches the night before, but I knew my motorized scooter could still drive through it.  As I approached the edge of the sidewalk to cross the parking lot, a snow plow crossed directly in front of me, dumping a huge mound of snow in my path.  Oh no!  I was doomed!  The snow pile came up to my waistline, and I knew there was no way to get through now.

The overwhelming feeling described here is frequently experienced during this time of year.  Family gatherings.  Holiday parties.  Traffic jams in parking lots.  Long shopping lines.  Hours spent wrapping gifts.  All of this while still dealing with the continuous flow of stresses with patient/family care and administrative tasks.

Even though this time of year can be full of many to-dos and much commercialism, I encourage you to take some time for yourself alone and really reflect on the true reason for this season.  This is shared in one of my favorite Christmas movies, A Charlie Brown Christmas:

Charlie Brown: “…I guess I don’t really know what Christmas is about. Isn’t there anyone who understands what Christmas is all about?”

Linus: “Sure, I can tell you what Christmas is all about.”

Linus goes to center stage, spotlight.

Linus: “And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them, and they were so afraid. And the angel said unto them, ‘Fear not, for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you. Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in the manger.’ And suddenly, there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men.’”

 Linus picks up blanket, walks back to piano.

Linus: “That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.”

 

Thank you for this reminder, Linus!
Have a blessed Christmas and holiday season, Everyone, and a Happy New Year!

 

During one of my many hospitalizations growing up, I stirred in my crib as the morning sunlight began peeking through the windows.  Upon hearing my movement, my father, who was laying underneath my bed on the floor, slowly raised his hand up beyond the mattress to where I could see it.  Recognizing his hand immediately, I squirmed even more so with much exuberance.

As I reflect on this incident, it is very apparent the impact that a medical crisis has upon the family.  Most of the time, they desire to remain close and wish to constantly interact with their loved one.  With this time of year surrounded by holidays, let us further take into consideration the impact of the memories on the families as they proceed in offering the gift of life to another/they ride this emotional rollercoaster ride.

Let us pray:

God, support us as we work to better support families.  May we also remember that we all are a part of one family—Your family!

In Your name we pray,

Amen

 

 

During my years in middle school, my Adaptive Physical Education teacher, Coach Eckdahl, who also served as the school’s football coach, required his students to serve on the football team as managers.  As one of his students, I functioned as a manager by acting as the “water girl” since I moved swiftly on my motorized scooter and carried the water bottles in my basket.

One night, due to much rain, Coach asked another manager to deliver the water bottles to prevent me from getting stuck in the mud.    At one point, when the team had huddled, the other manager dashed over to the players, quickly handed out the bottles, and then returned to the sidelines with the empty containers.  Then, Coach signaled the girl over to him and commented with a smile, “You did a great job delivering the bottles.  Next time, though, give them to our team.”

This illustration of Coach affirming and correcting the girl’s action symbolizes, to me, how the Lord disciplines us.  Serving as the Great Coach, He desires the best for His children, guiding and supporting them through all occasions of life.  With the Holy Spirit and His Word, He offers wisdom in difficult circumstances and encouragement when events do not proceed as we had hoped.  Furthermore, God rejoices with us and brings peace during times of obedience and joy.

So, what instructions are you receiving about your own “game” with life?  How is the Coach chatting with you today?

 

Have you heard the phrase “actions speak louder than words?” Well, it proves so true in the hospital setting.

A couple of years ago, I was a patient in the hospital.  Having undergone a hip replacement, I was eventually transferred to the Rehabilitation Unit.  Within hours of being there, I found myself having little strength when toileting and constantly falling backwards, hitting my head on the pipe behind me.  Quickly acknowledging this dilemma, my Patient Care Technician resolved this issue by using towels and masking tape to wrap around the pipe for my safety.

To this day, I have never forgotten that small act of kindness.  Words can be extremely powerful, but as in this case, actions can even be more memorable.  May this illustration serve as a reminder to who we are and what we do can have a greater influence than what we say!

Let us pray:

Lord, thank You for the different acts of kindness You bestow on our lives—whether directly or through the generosity of others.  May we always strive to offer kindness to others—being Your servants to Your people.  In Your name we pray this, Amen.

Last Wednesday evening, I received a phone call from my fiancée, informing me about two rainbows outside that I had to see.  Upon observing them, I was amazed at the Creator’s work, but little did I know that this small wonder would bring a greater blessing.

Following this, over the next couple of days, I worked very closely alongside a family whose loved one experienced a sudden traumatic event, and they eventually chose the path of donation.  On Friday morning after the surgery was completed, the patient’s mother and another family member requested to see the body again, so the Family Services Coordinator, Michelle, and I escorted them to the appropriate room.  During the viewing, the family shared how the onset of the patient’s illness occurred simultaneously with the appearance of two rainbows Wednesday evening and how this had served as a sign for them that he was gone.

After hearing this, with tears in my eyes, I said a final prayer with them, and Michelle and I gave them a few moments alone.  Their story not only affirmed God’s divine intervention in their lives but further affirmed the Lord’s preparation in my ministry with them.  Moreover, He did not display one rainbow but two, thus, revealing to me how He displayed His heavenly light upon this patient while concurrently offering the continued joy of life to another.

Let us pray:

O Creator, You are truly amazing!  Thank You for Your continuous divine interventions, especially in the most crucial times.  Thank You also for the signs You offer, guiding us in our ministry.  We ask that You continue to bless us as we strive to bless others.  In Your holy name we pray, Amen.

The mother saw her daughter from a distance.  She lay still with lines and tubes running from every direction of her body.  However, the monitor displayed life’s existence through the numbers reading her heart rate and pulse as a ventilator instilled movement in her chest.

The nurse approached the mother and said, “Would you like to hold your baby girl?”

“Yes,” whispered the mother, nodding her head with tears streaming down her face.

The nurse instructed the mother to sit in the rocking chair, and then she placed the baby girl with a blanket into her mother’s arms.

For several minutes, the mother rocked in the chair, cuddling her child and singing lullabies to her.

The gentle and considerate attention that this nurse gave to the mother has been remembered for many years.  Whether it be in the ICU or at the bedside in the trauma bay, giving a family member an opportunity to connect with their loved one is significant, especially as we as the caregivers offer words of comfort, reassurance, a listening presence, and a touch on the hand or shoulder during these difficult moments.  It is the small acts that go a long ways.  May we always act accordingly to attempt to meet the physical, emotional, psychological, mental, and spiritual needs of others.

Let us pray:

Lord, allow Your Spirit to be over us as we meet during this time.  Continue to give us wisdom in how to not just meet the needs of the patients we encounter but also their loved ones.  I personally want to thank You for the way You ministered to my mother and me through the nurse many years ago.  I ask for Your continued blessings over the trauma ministry here at St. Vincent.  In Your name we pray, Amen.

One sunny afternoon, while living in Maryland as a child, I recall my father excitedly announcing to the family, “We’re going to move to St. Louis!”  Almost instantaneously, I burst into tears, realizing the losses that lay ahead, including leaving my best friend.  Simultaneously, though, my younger brother dashed inside our house and returned a few minutes later with a packed suitcase in hand!

Ironically enough, even now as an adult, I still struggle with change—changes in relationships, job duties, life directions, etc.  Despite it being a natural part of life, change has never come easy for me.  How do you handle change?  Every year, when the leaves start changing color, I find myself frequently reflecting upon changes that have occurred in my recent past as well as the upcoming possibilities in the future.  In these moments of observation, I often reflect silently, praying to the Lord for His guidance and assurance.

Moreover, with our ministry concentrating in the changes happening to our patients and their loved ones—whether instantly or over time, I have discovered that our work can best be summarized in the passage of Ecclesiastes 3:1-7:

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak…”

 

 

I will never forget the event that occurred recently.  Responding to the page, I waited in the trauma bay with the rest of the team.  The stat flight team rolled the young woman into the room.  She laid motionless, barely clothed, and with no name, no age, and no family.

“Who is this woman?” I thought to myself.  “What happened to her?”

Hours later, while standing at the bedside of this still unidentified individual and holding her hand, I silently asked myself, “How do I pray for this woman, Lord?  What do I pray for?”

Then, with the urging of the Spirit, I prayed quietly, “Lord, be with this woman.  Even though I do not know her, you do.  Show Your face upon her.  Speak to her.  Be with her and her family at this time.  Amen.”

Through this incident, I learned that, when I am limited, God is not.  Where I face limits, He is boundless.  Thus, limitations only exist in man’s mind, not in the realm of the Divine Creator.

Let us pray:

As we journey through life—both professionally and personally—and endure its continuous struggles, may we remember—

You possess knowledge in and with the unknown.

You bring hope to the hopeless.

You offer strength to the weak.

You are the Great Healer when no healing can be found.

You make the impossible possible.

In Your name we pray, Amen.

This year, we celebrate the 11^th anniversary of the attacks that occurred on our land the day of Tuesday, September 11, 2001.  Where were you when these events happened?  How did that day forever change you—personally and/or professionally? 

I remember where I was when the first plane struck the North Tower of the World Trade Center—in bed.  Awakened by a friend’s phone call to alert me of these unfolding events, the tragedy of this day did not fully register with me until I turned on the news shortly thereafter.  I sat in complete silence and shock as I observed the massive destruction of these planes.  Living in Virginia Beach at that time, I recall driving to an appointment later that morning, listening to the local radio announcer describe the lines of vehicles heading to the navy and army base and thinking to myself, “Are we going to be hit next?  How will the events of today impact Americans in the days, weeks, and months ahead?”

When tragedy strikes, it not only affects those directly impacted but even those non-directly.  Thousands of people lost their lives that day and left numerous mourners behind.  Our nation’s security systems have been forever changed due to the actions of a few.  Americans are now much more educated on terrorism and the catastrophic results it can have on millions.

 So, I then ask, “How do we continue to move forward after this tragedy?” First, we continue to seek the Lord for peace and strength through prayer and Scripture reading.  Proverbs 3:5-6 states, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”  Secondly, may we serve each other as God would, allowing our ears to listen empathetically, our eyes to see the goodness in others, and our lips to speak words of encouragement and kindness.  The power of one’s comforting presence can triumph over the difficult, cruel actions of others. 

Personally, about a year later in 2002, after having discovered my love for trauma while completing my first unit of chaplaincy training, I came across the book God @ Ground Zero by Chaplain Ray Giunta.  In this book, Chaplain Ray shares of his experiences of journeying alongside the responders as well as the victims and their loved ones.  From his insights, I gleaned a new perspective on crisis response beyond the hospital walls and how I could expound on my role as a chaplain.  Later, with September 11^th serving as a reminder of my annual start date of my ministry, I know that date has helped defined me as a chaplain who thrives in trauma, chaos, and crisis.  

To move forward from that horrible day in September eleven years ago involves acknowledging how that day changed you and those around you and, with God’s assistance and guidance, embracing what the future holds.  Let us continue to step toward the future in faith, knowing that His glory will one day prevail for all of mankind. 

 

 

Have you seen the commercials for the Infiniti?  As we travel along life’s highways, the announcer reminds us that “the journey is the destination.”  This also proves true in the medical field.

Having been a patient several times in my life, involving many recoveries from various surgeries, one specific surgery and recovery that sticks in my mind relates to this quote.  At the age of ten years, I underwent a four-hour intense hip surgery that forced me to live in a body cast for a few months before relearning how to walk again.  When the time arrived for me to begin physical therapy, using a walker, I recall the intense pain and difficulties I experienced.

Specifically, the physical therapist, Cindy, instructed, “Now, Kristen, all I want you to do is stand.  You do not need to take any steps.”

After a few moments of painfully standing, I said, “I want to try walking.”

“Okay,” Cindy responded.

I took two steps and then had to rest.

From this as well as other recoveries, I find myself setting the “bar” high.  For example, in the situation described above, I desired to walk across the room even though I had not walked for a few months.  Thus, I learned that it was not as significant to walk across the room as it was to progress forward in the healing process.  This event allowed me to recall a quote by Greg Anderson: “Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.”

In the Trauma/Neuro ICU, many of our patients and their loved ones endure “rollercoaster rides” during their time here, going two steps forward and then one step back.  Hence, they wrestle with a plethora of emotions, including disappointment, joy, despair, relief, hope, and gratitude.  Having observed and experienced the cycles on numerous patients’ care, we as caregivers have the unique privilege of describing and emphasizing the baby steps in the hospitalization process.  The American novelist Don Williams, Jr. best summarizes it by stating: “The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet, our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.”

 

 

Several years ago, while completing his residency, Dr. Tom Cypher, a friend from Maryland, was struggling with patience, so he began to specifically pray to the Lord for patience.  One night, during an on-call shift, a nurse commented to him, “Tom, when it is crazy down here in the ER, I always know that you are the one on-call.  We always get slammed on your shifts!  Why is that?”

“Well,” Tom replied, “It may be because I have been praying to God for patience, and it appears He is answering my prayers.”

Grabbing the physician by the collar, the nurse stated assertively, “Never pray for patience!  Always pray for wisdom! For when you pray for patience, God will flood you with numerous trials until you learn patience.”

No matter what prayer is spoken, do you find yourself relying on this “lifeline” to survive through a shift?  It may be to work through difficult relationships possibly with patients, families, or even colleagues.  It may serve as a beckoning for divine intervention or wisdom in how to best care for a declining patient.  It may allow you to express your frustrations regarding malfunctioning equipment and/or software.  Prayer is one tool accessible to all that permits you to know you are not a solo traveler on this journey of life.

Let me close by sharing a prayer by St. Francis for all of us:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

Recently, the brakes on my fiancée’s car went out.  Attempting to maneuver it to a local repair shop, Jeff slowly backed the vehicle up, but this resulted in him pressing hard on the brakes to eventually force the automobile to stop, thus, making a loud screeching noise.  Deciding then that it was unsafe to drive to the shop, he attempted to return the vehicle to its original parking spot, but despite slamming the brakes again, the car continued moving forward—traveling over the curb and eventually stopping on the downward slope with its tail hanging in mid-air.  At this point, I felt like I was watching a live clip from America’s Funniest Home Videos!  After many more efforts, including manual exertion, Jeff eventually returned the car back to its original spot.

Now, as I reflect on this humorous incident, I realize that this can symbolize both what our patients and families experience as well as we as caregivers.  For the patient and/or family, they may experience a traumatic event(s) that results in a long-term recovery.  Then they progress forward in their healing process for a few days but suddenly code and have a huge setback.  This sometimes forces families from the decision to consent for medical interventions to the decision of whether or not to perform comfort measures only.  As caregivers, we become frustrated when a patient has done so well and then takes a turn for the worst.  We struggle when we do not accomplish the daily goals of care and when the various disciplines start not working together as a team, thus, forming conflicting approaches in the treatment plan.

 This “pendulum” cycle can be frustrating, overwhelming, and draining on all parties involved in the medical field.  So, where can we go for stability in an unstable world?  I would encourage you to pause for a moment, asking God for wisdom on the next steps to pursue.    As quoted by my fiancée, Jeff Higgins, “Stopping is as important as going.” Taking a pause can sometimes be as or even more productive than intervening with medical treatments.  Though patients, families, and caregivers may feel like they have either lost control or not gained any ground in a difficult situation, may we always remember and believe that there is One Who always maintains control!  May we always know that God can take control of the wheel of life and bring peace out of the chaos!  Oh, and one last thing, Jeff wants us to know, “Don’t drive a car without brakes!”

 Let us pray:

Lord,

There are many times when we try to direct patient care to result in the outcomes we desire.  Help us to surrender the leading to You, for You know what all the patients, families, and staff need at every single moment.  Guide us today and everyday.

In Your name we pray, Amen.

My family has always described me as a very neat person, striving to always maintain physical order in my room.  As a young child, I never wanted anyone to disturb the tidiness of my room, especially when I was gone.

When my younger brother Andy was around one or two years of age, he loved to go in my room and play with whatever toys he could find.  Particularly, since my books were on a shelf where he could reach, he entertained himself with pulling all of them off the shelf and then sitting in the midst of the pile, flipping through the pages to look at the pictures.  Therefore, when I returned home from school, I would frequently find my room to be a MESS!  Then, as an impatient soul, I became angry at him, frustrated that I had to constantly clean up after him.  As time passed, either Andy messed up my room less and less, or I grew more tolerant of this habit.  I further looked over this trait of his and began admiring more and more of his positive characteristics—his humor, kindness, genuineness, helpfulness, and protection.  Today, even though we do not live physically close, we share a strong sibling bond and love for one another—one that I hope we will continuously treasure in the years to come.

Now, who in your life possesses characteristics that drive you ABSOLUTELY CRAZY?  It may be a family member, friend, acquaintance, patient, or even a colleague.  What about that individual gets beneath your skin?  Is that trait (or are those traits) the only one(s) that he or she has?  I challenge you today to pry further into getting to know the person beyond the surface.

 As you begin your soul searching, take a moment to reflect on the statement that Angela Hunt writes in her novel The Note:

 “’People are like newspapers,…and most of them don’t want to open up when you first meet ‘em.  They’ll show you their front pages, maybe even let you read some ads on the back page.  If you take a little time and ask the right questions, you might be trusted enough to peek at the masthead on page two.  But if you really want to read everything, you’ve got to convince them to open up all the way.  Not until then will you be able to read the fine print of the soul’ (95).”

 Remember the famous saying: “Don’t judge a book by its cover!” Search beyond their “covers,” and discover what they can offer to this world.  Moreover, trust that the Lord has allowed you two to cross paths for a purpose, even if you do not understand it immediately.  Even though he is my brother, I looked beyond what I considered to be Andy’s “flaws,” and I can honestly say it has been a life-changing, life-enriching experience!

Growing up, my family and I spent many summer evenings in Canton, Missouri, visiting a few elderly relatives.  Learning many new games, we spent hours playing cards together.  Once every summer, my great uncle usually took the kids fishing at a local pond.  With various appetizers and drinks in our midst, we also chatted many late afternoons about life’s happenings before adjourning to the dining room for the main course.

On one particular evening, after my great uncle had constructed bug boxes for the kids, we decided to head outside at dusk to catch lightning bugs.  Upon this outing, Mimi, my grandmother, exerted tremendous determination in catching one herself.

Finally, one flew near her and lit up.  She quickly grasped her hands around it, yelling, “I caught one!”  When she slowly opened her hands, though, the crushed bug laid still in the palm of her hand.  From that point forward for the rest of the night, disappointment hung in the air.  Even though Mimi gave it her all, her all did not prove to be a success nor was it enough.

Have you ever had a time or times in your life when you have given it your all, and it was not enough nor successful—maybe at work or even in your personal life?  How have you handled the disappointment?  Even though my family and I can now chuckle at Mimi’s attempt to capture the lightning bug, what has helped you move forward beyond the trials of life?

When I encounter times of disappointment, an image forms in my mind of me riding a bull, trying to overcome the battle but eventually being thrown to the ground.  As I rise again to proceed in the fight, I hear the whispering of my father’s words: “Attitude is everything.”  Hearing this, along with the supportive relationship of my heavenly Father, I regain the stamina to continue the fight.  Hence, while believing and trusting in not just the Lord’s guidance but those whom have mentored and spoken wisdom to us through the difficult circumstances, may our attitude towards any outcome that follows demonstrate one of relinquishment to their impartment in our lives!

During my middle school physical education class, I recall my instructor teaching the class how to juggle, using very lightweight pieces of cloth.  I had little difficulty keeping two cloths in the air because I was only focused on those two items.  However, when a third cloth was added to the mix, I was totally thrown off of my “balancing act” and could no longer manage my load.

Do you experience this quite often at work…or even in your personal life?  Maybe even just going back and forth between these two realms?  When life becomes too stressful and you feel overburdened, how do you cope?  I would like to suggest the acronym “HELP”:

H – Have a few moments to just breathe and calm yourself

E – Examine the situation or conflict again, exploring the various angles or perspectives

L – Look to another for assistance or insight, even if it’s just to vent your own concerns    or frustrations

P – Pray to the Almighty One, for He provides everlasting support, strength, and wisdom

Let us go to the Lord right now:

O God,

Be with us always through all seasons of life, especially during the difficult times.  Help us to find a sense of balance physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually.

We ask this in Your name, Amen.

Recently, I attended a conference where there were several display cases outside the meeting room. Trying to look at one particular book, I maneuvered my power chair close to the table—actually, too close! I bumped into the table, sending one whole stack of books flying to the ground. Glancing around and seeing that no one saw my act, I quickly drove away, thinking to myself, “Fido.” I learned this term from my parents who heard it from a speaker, meaning “Forget It, Drive On.”

Here on the unit, with much bustling, never-ending activity, we perform a variety of tasks every hour—both routine as well as those with which we are less familiar. Unfortunately, as we fulfill our duties, mistakes do happen—ones we cannot forget and require us to expand our learning. Therefore, when an error occurs, I encourage each of us to “Fido”…”File It, Drive On.” File these instances into our memory bank as learning moments, and drive on to your next task. Let these times serve as opportunities of growth in your expertise—opportunities to place your life as well as others’ into the Lord’s hands as well as opportunities to receive His grace and glean from His wisdom. Therefore, put your best effort into your work today, and always FIDO!

Do you recall the very first patient you ever served?  I still remember it vividly to this day.  At that time, I resided near Sentara Norfolk General Hospital in Virginia where I had been assigned to the Women’s unit.  I met a woman who had recently given birth and was preparing to take her baby home.  Scared to do so, we discussed her concerns as I provided a comforting, empathetic listening presence.  At the end of our time together and with her experiencing much relief from her anxiety, she hugged me good-bye.  Closing the door, I strolled away, knowing that I had served her well and realizing that I had probably found my niche as a hospital chaplain.

With Memorial Day approaching, many people tend to remember the fallen heroes that fought in various wars throughout the years.  What about the living ones who continue to fight today?  What about the medical heroes who stand daily on the battle lines for individual lives?  Each of you is a hero!  You march on the dividing line of life versus death, advocating for the patients an sometimes families as well as journeying through difficult ethical issues.

So, on Memorial Day, take a moment to reflect on your first patient or at least your early years in this career, and remember your purpose for responding to this call to battle!

Let us pray:

Lord, be with us right now.  Help us humble our hearts before You.  May we take this moment to reflect on the memories You bring to mind.  We ask also that You prepare us mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to process the issues at hand.

 In all of this we ask in Your name,

 Amen.

Since his early teenage years, my father was an avid swimmer and lifeguard.  One summer, when he was not attending swim practice, Coach Keller hired Dad to manage and lifeguard a small pool and clubhouse.   During one afternoon, while cleaning up around the pool deck after closing, my father began tossing some kickboards towards the clubhouse to quickly tidy up the place.  Mistakenly, though, he tossed one a little too hard and sent it through one of the huge windows of the clubhouse.

“Oh no!” Dad thought to himself, placing his hand to his forehead.  “What am I going to do?  This will take up most of my summer earnings!”

Suddenly, Coach Keller walks out across the deck, notices the broken window, and asks my father, “What happened here?”

Dad then confesses honestly to his wrongdoing, and Coach responds, “Oh.  Okay.  Well, I needed to purchase a new window anyway.”  Dad felt so relieved!

How many mistakes do we make here at the hospital?  Confessing to these not only enlightens everyone to the dilemma and helps us all to work together as a group to correct them; it also lightens the emotional burdens of the particular individual.  In John 8:32, Jesus states that others “will [eventually] know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  Free from possibly so much guilt.  Free to take corrective measures.  Free to move forward and perform better in the future.  So, the next time a mistake happens, consider the following: What went wrong here, and what needs to “be set free”—now as well as later in the future?

Living in an apartment several years ago with my family, my brother Andy and I decided to explore the complex one afternoon. Strolling along various sidewalks, we came across a group of pre-teen girls who had already proven to be very unfriendly during our few weeks of residing there. I attempted to escape their bullying behavior but, soon thereafter, found myself lying on the sidewalk after one of them shoved me. Andy then dashed back to our apartment for our mother’s assistance with the situation, especially in helping me up off the ground.

Have you ever felt like this here at work—pushed to the ground so much that you could not stand on your own? It may have been from the heavy demands in patient/family care that day. It may have resulted from the lack of cohesiveness in the various disciplines. It may even have occurred, during one of those days, when you dragged heavy emotional burdens from your personal life into the hospital.

As your chaplain in the Medical ICU, I have learned that it is not the physical task that is overwhelming but the number of tasks that require accomplishing simultaneously and even the emotions tied to them. This is what causes the emotional stress, burnout, and compassion fatigue. When the demands of meeting others’ needs becomes so great that we can no longer care for our own needs, this is when we lose focus and stability because, without any self-care, you will eventually lose the ability to provide care, period.

An anonymous author once wrote, “Setting healthy boundaries means sometimes saying ‘No.’” The word “no” is not bad in itself; it just establishes the “fence” for maintaining the space we need to maintain our physical and emotional health. So, what boundaries do you need to set in your professional and personal lives? What do you need to do to establish them? As one who struggles in setting boundaries, I know this is not an easy concept to live out, but I will take this journey with you in enhancing our physical, emotional, mental, and even spiritual well-beings by firmly grounding one post of the “fence” at a time!

 

A couple of days ago, I attended a conference covering the issue of grief. During his presentation, the speaker shared various memories of his mother and how she (and their relationships) was affected later in life by Alzheimer’s disease. Particularly, he commented on actions of hers that he did not like at that time, but he missed them today.

Suddenly, upon hearing his stories, tears arose to my eyes as I recalled different memories with my grandmother, Mimi, who also was diagnosed in her later years with dementia. One vivid memory I have is when Mimi would sit in her armchair with her head tilted back and her hands clasped together in a praying position. She then would sing the following verses loudly but off-key:

“We three kings of orient are

Oh, who traveled, oh, so far…”

Whether these lyrics were correct or not, I remember always thinking how badly her singing sounded and how much I would long for her to quit at any time. However, to this day—several years later, whenever I hear that song, I cannot help but to think of her and the wonderful impact she made upon my life.

When working with our patients and families, have you ever experienced encounters that “struck a chord” with your past? How do these memories still affect you to this day? May these moments be ones where you allow the Lord to comfort, carry, enrich, and bless you as you serve His children!

 

Imagine an onion, and consider the numerous layers you have to peel away to reach the depths of it. When this image comes to my mind, it reminds me of all the “layers” that we as caregivers “peel away” when working with families. Whether it be seconds, minutes, or even hours, it is crucial that we take the necessary time to establish rapport with the families before proceeding in the donation process.

This “peeling away” concept also occurs within this committee as we serve this health system. We must identify the struggles and hurdles of this process along with various associates’ feelings toward donation in order to have successful outcomes. Even though this is not always easy, may we always know that we do not have to “peel layers” with the Lord, but we can openly share our feelings with Him, trusting Him to guide us through these trials.

Shall we pray:

Lord,

Guide us during this meeting in peeling back the layers of difficulties we may be facing at this time regarding donation processes in our hospital system. Give us wisdom with these challenges, and help us to best lead and serve as donor champions throughout St. Vincent.

In Your name we pray,

Amen.

Throughout my childhood, my family and I made several trips to the small town of Canton, Missouri, where my grandmother and a couple of great uncles and aunts resided. During every visit, one of my favorite activities was to ride with Uncle Late in his pick up to his garden, known as the “Acre,” where we would spend time together picking vegetables to eat at a later time. This year, for the first time ever as a way to relish in this childhood memory, I decided to branch out of just growing flowers and try my hand at a small vegetable garden by planting some green bean seeds. As I observe these seeds now growing, not only do I miss this great man in my life, but I also treasure the memories of quality time with him as well as the words of wisdom that he spoke into my life.

As associates here in the ICU, each of us have skills and knowledge that we bring to the unit—whether it be medical, laboratory, administrative, leadership, therapeutic, respiratory, or supportive gifts. However, we did not reach this point alone; we may have gained these skills through another’s mentorship, instruction, or inspiration into your life. Reflect on how you reached the position that you hold today. What motivated you to reach this point? Who guided you along the journey and offered words of direction?

Whether or not you had a specific individual that journey alongside you, there is one Guide who will always travel the path with you, especially through unknown territory. He is only a whisper away and will not mislead you if you continuously seek His direction. The Lord does state in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God is always available to mentor and support you through whatever challenges you encounter professionally and personally!

 

As a child, my family visited my mother’s mother on a frequent basis.  During one weekend visit, my grandmother placed cloth napkins at the table setting.  Having grown up with paper napkins and then upon seeing the cloth ones, my younger brother Andy and I asked, “What are these?”

            “They are napkins,” my grandmother replied.

            This dialogue repeated itself for a few more meals.  Finally, after the question arose again, my grandmother threw down the napkin and yelled, “That’s it!  We’ll stick with paper ones!”

            Contrarily, here in the ICU, we constantly face the continuous changeover from “paper napkins” to “cloth” ones, and we cannot go back (i.e. Quest, Symphony, etc.).  However, whether the changes seem appropriate or not, let us always keep in mind the long-term goal of constantly improving the care we provide to our patients and their loved ones.

Tonight, I worked with the sister of an organ donor.  She shared about the patient’s generous spirit and her willingness to support various family members.  Then, as the medical team prepared to go to the OR to begin the actual procurement process, the sister looked at me and commented, “It is amazing what they can take.”

Looking back at her, I replied, “It is amazing what families will give.”

Reflecting upon this brief interaction, it parallels in description what happens here in the hospital on a daily basis with each of our patients.  Some patients “take” drugs, time, and energy to begin the recovery process.  Others take our guidance and knowledge about their illnesses and choose a path that concentrates more on their quality of life, rather than quantity.  Unfortunately, some even take our resources only to return to their unhealthy lifestyles.

Now, on the other hand, as a member of the medical team, you are a giver.  You give of your skills and knowledge to help a patient and even family through a critical period.  You sacrifice numerous, tiring hours from your own family and friends to best serve as a team member here in the ICU.  You constantly give, give, give…without expecting anything in return.  Yes, I do realize you give all of these things and more in hopes to help the patients with their critical medical conditions, but as you know, sometimes the Lord has other plans.

So, bottom line is…it is absolutely amazing what each of you gives to our care receivers and their loved ones as well as to other team members.  The Lebanese poet and novelist, Kahlil Gibran, quotes, “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”  With the sincere hearts of giving that each of you displays, we together embrace the bodies, minds, and spirits of all whom we encounter daily, thus, creating an enriching, healing environment through our sacrificial gifts.

It was another beautiful Sunday morning, and I, again, could not attend church.  Confined by a body cast that started at my waist and went to my toes, I was limited to when and where I could travel.  Therefore, my father remained at home with me while my mother and five year-old brother, Andy, attended worship.  Disappointed by this, Dad cheered me up by playing Super Mario Brothers with me on our Nintendo set followed by watching the beginning of the Indy 500 together.

A few hours later, upon them returning, Andy exclaimed to me, “I made something for you!”    He then handed me a medium-sized rock that he had painted with vibrant colors earlier that morning.

Still cherishing today this gift that Andy gave me, it reminds me of the gifts we offer each other here in the ICU.  Some have skills in listening or perception.  Others possess the ability to teach and offer nuggets of wisdom.  Some demonstrate quick learning abilities while performing tasks on a computer.  Others display a comforting presence to those who are mourning.  Through the variety of colorful gifts that every individual brings to the unit, we together then form a rock-solid unit that serves various populations while together meeting different needs.  It reminds me of the passage 1 Corinthians 12:15-20:

“Now if the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.” 

So, what skills do you bring with you to the ICU?  What abilities do your fellow colleagues demonstrate in their work?  In what ways do you or can you mesh these gifts for the greater good of the team as well as those in our care?

The concept of time…is it a gift or a curse?  Imagine being a patient with a terminal illness, awaiting the much needed organ to survive.  You may be thankful for every breath of hope that can be shared with family and close friends while earnestly desiring and praying for the miracle.  Now, contrarily, imagine being the family of a loved one who is only alive due to the work of the machines.   The clock is ticking away, and you know that, while you have this chance to verbally express your final thoughts and feelings, death is quickly approaching.

Time…is both a gift and a curse.  It works both for us while, simultaneously, working against us.  Therefore, may we use these moments of life with great wisdom, so we can provide better care in those moments that may soon bring finality.

When watching television, the Energizer Bunny always brings a smile to my face. These commercials always portray the bunny as constantly on the go—never pausing nor taking a moment to breathe—due to the battery. Similarly, in the realm of donation, we as donor champions are like this—constantly responding to donation issues and questions at all hours as well as fighting for the lives of those in need.

However, we do not thrive on an everlasting battery. We require recharging our own energy through various means of self-care. So, I encourage you to ponder on what gives you energy during those difficult cases, and return to your reliance on that/those source(s) to provide you with the necessary charge.

Shall we pray:

God,

No matter what energizes us on a daily basis, may we remember that You are the ultimate source of life. Please recharge us at this time as we proceed further in another discussion regarding the donation process.

In Your name we pray,

Amen.

Several years ago, shortly after purchasing my very first vehicle and gaining the ability to drive, I went on a retreat with a group from college.   On the way home, with my friend Becky snoozing in the passenger seat, I cruised along the highway, following as the road led. 

Over a half hour later, Becky awakened from her nap and asked, “How far are we from home?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you even know where we are?”

“Nope,” I replied with a grin, confident that we would eventually reach our destination.

Despite the huge detour we made as well as the additional time it took to return home, I knew I would eventually accomplish the task, and I even enjoyed the new discoveries along the way. 

Doesn’t this story symbolize what we have been experiencing this week with all the changes in Quest?  Even though these changes have not been easy and have altered the way we perform patient care, I personally do know that I have made many new discoveries this week and truly believe that these change will benefit our patients in the long run.   Moreover, we have the support and companionship of each other to guide us through the process.  Though change is never easy, it is an inevitable part of living, especially regarding our professions in the medical environment.

Therefore, we must determine our attitude towards these changes; as I have heard, “it’s not the situation itself but how you respond to it.”  My father frequently quoted to me, “Attitude is everything.”  Along these lines, in an excerpt entitiled “Attitude,” Charles Swindoll stated:

“…The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude … I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you … we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

So, despite all the stress and anxiety over these changes with Quest and our patient care, we all have one of two choices to make: be miserable through these changes or relish and build on the new learning opportunities that we have in our ministry to the community and with each other.

What choice will you make?

It is totally up to you!

After completing my Bachelor of Arts in English at Salisbury State University, I continued further in my educational pursuit to obtain my Masters of Divinity in hopes to work in a full-time ministry career. While making a decision on what internship to pursue as part of this graduate degree, I spoke to both a professor and the director of Career Services on separate occasions but on the same day.

They both inquired, “Have you considered hospital chaplaincy?”

Having had at least thirteen surgeries and over twenty hospitalizations, I responded to both of them, “Are you nuts?! All of my life I have been trying to get out of the hospital. Why would I want to work in one?!”

Finally, after some consideration about chaplaincy, I applied and served as a chaplain intern during the summer of 2002. This has been one of the best opportunities to which both my professor and director could have guided me! Not only do I share with others my gifts of caring and writing, the Lord has availed me multiple chances to empathize and understand patients and their families by reflecting on my own experiences as a patient. Today, as I reflect on those early childhood struggles I experienced, I laugh in admiration and continue to praise the Lord for how He has sculpted my life—never ceasing in molding me to a path of complete service to Him. Particularly, it is ironic how, during my early years, I dreaded going to hospitals to receive evaluations and treatments from a plethora of medical staff—searching for every opportunity to escape from there, and now, God has opened the door and given me the willingness to walk freely into this same place to serve those experiencing their own complex journeys.

Despite finding out my passion and responding to my calling to pursue chaplaincy, I had to consider various areas relating to the professional field in order to succeed along this path. On a practical note, I learned that a person with a disability needs to examine the physical setting and environment of the career. Is the facility handicap accessible? Are there plenty of handicap parking spaces? Do the parking spaces have additional space for me to lower my ramp and unload my chair? Despite having the support and enforcement of the Americans with Disabilities Act, one needs to check that he or she can easily access the entrances, elevators, ramps, bathrooms, and even office shelves.

In addition, along with the usual matching of one skills and interests to a future career, an individual who lives with physical challenges must further consider the physical tasks that need to be completed within the scope of the career selection as well as what accommodations he or she as well as the employer needs to make. For example, when pursuing hospital chaplaincy training, I quickly discovered the importance of one’s physical appearance, so I had to find clothes that appeared professional while also permitting me to function independently. Specifically, despite having a tool that helps me with buttons, I learned that elastic pants are easier for me. Further, I wear nice, neutral-colored tennis shoes since my braces do not coincide with dress shoes.

Moreover, as I began actually performing in my position, I developed my own unique ways of fulfilling the various responsibilities while meeting my own needs. In regards to actually giving pastoral care, when entering the room on my scooter, I find myself usually offering care from the end of the bed so as to not shuffle furniture nor interrupt communication with visitors. While I may not be able to physically touch the patient from this perspective, I have discovered that I can usually hold direct eye contact with them as well as place my hand at the end of the bed when offering prayer. Furthermore, when needing to rest from walking awhile, I sometimes sit next to a visitor to offer him or her care. This permits me the opportunity to reach the hurting individual both physically and emotionally as well as not interrupt my mission of pastoral care. Using opportunities of needing personal assistance, I find myself checking on staff while getting needs met. An example –when I request assistance with putting on a gown before speaking with a patient in isolation. While he or she ties the gown, I check how the staff member’s day is proceeding.

Along with determining the necessary adjustments that I personally had to make, I learned quickly, at the beginning of my career path, the importance for an employer to have an openness towards working with those who have physical challenges and to possess an accommodating spirit. For instance, during a phone interview with a hospital in the western part of the United States, the interviewer held a brief conversation with me and, despite my objections, hastily determined that I was not a good fit for the position due to the possible effects that the altitude might have upon me physically. Contrarily, during my in-person interview for a residency position in Indiana, one interviewer questioned how I would handle my on-call responsibilities due to my struggles with stamina and swift walking. I responded, “If you let me use my motorized scooter, I might get there faster than the doctors can.”

Overall, for a person with physical challenges to successfully maintain a career, it is similar to that of balancing a scale, possibly with the employee’s side weighing a little heavier to demonstrate his or her worthiness in the role. It involves a give-and-take process for both the employer and employee in order to meet the same goal with the best outcome. The scale will never balance if either side refuses to be flexible and unwilling to adjust.

Last Saturday evening, my fiancée Jeff and I decided to venture out to the Super Bowl Village.  Oh, “venture out” is definitely what we did; this actually may be an understatement!  Despite rolling in our wheelchairs over a mile away from where we parked, we eventually reached the Village.  However, due to the huge number of people as well as the very chilly weather, we quickly decided to turn around and return to the van.  Little did we know, we headed in the completely wrong direction!  We ended up smack in the middle of a massive crowd of bystanders who were present for the Patti LaBelle concert!  Not being able to move forward nor backwards, we were trapped.  A few others, who also wanted out, attempted to make a pathway for us but ended up in heated arguments right beside us.  Several minutes later, with much wisdom and perseverance, one gentleman pressed forward to retrieve assistance from security.  The officers then rescued us from the angry crowd and escorted us to a safety zone where we remained until the end of concert.

Reflecting upon this incident and relating to our work here, I was keenly reminded of the verse Psalm 46:10 that states, “Be still, and know that I am God.”  Since I could not move out of this situation on my own, I was forced to “be still” and trust that the Lord would guide me out safely.  Similarly, when we encounter difficult circumstances at work, we sometimes must pause briefly, believing that the Father as well as our colleagues will journey alongside and guide us through these struggles.

Moreover, when overcoming troublesome circumstances, it involves not just a few leaders but a whole “village” to work together.  Specifically in this situation, even though the gentleman and security initiated the rescue, it also involved the movement of the crowd in order for Jeff and me to gain freedom.  Likewise, here in the ICU, it takes not just a few individuals to provide the necessary care but a whole interdisciplinary team—with great wisdom and perseverance—to meet all the needs of the patients and their loved ones.  Partnering together does not just ease one’s burdens but everyone’s loads.

As we continue to enjoy the local thrills of holding the Super Bowl here in Indy, may we also remember to work as a team by huddling together to accomplish the common goals of each patient.  Hence, let us take this voyage together as one single village!

Last week, I had the privilege to journey alongside a grieving family facing the grim prognosis of their loved one’s condition up through his death. At one point, upon receiving the news of his “brain death” from the physician, the stepfather declared, “We need some hope here. This has all happened so quickly. Where can we find some hope?”

Reflecting upon this difficult situation, I came across the following quote by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” This proves true not just with this case but with all families facing the pending death of their loved one. Hope is definitely infinite. However, how can one acquire this type of hope? It may come through their faith and/or support from others. However, it also come through each and every one of us—through our empathetic listening, kind and understanding words, supportive touch, and extraordinary acts of service. We offer hope by directing the paths of the patients’ care and helping families move forward beyond the walls of this hospital.

Good communication is greatly emphasized on both professional and personal levels.  Many times, we believe we have clearly communicated our thoughts and desires but later learn that they were misperceived by the recipient(s).  Additionally, in our line of work relating to the medical field, we believe that someone has updated the family regarding a patient’s condition but later discover that this has not happened for one reason or another.  George Bernard Shaw, a well-known writer, best summarizes this by stating, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

With respect to this dilemma, I received the following fictional but humorous story via email that clearly describes this scenario:

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” 

The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?” 

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Norma Findlay, Room 302.” 

The operator replied, “Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse’s station for that room.” 

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, “I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow.” 

The grandmother said, “Thank you. That’s wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news.” 

The operator replied, “You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?” 

The grandmother said, “No, I’m Norma Findlay in Room 302.  No one tells me anything.”

 Even though this situation would probably not happen in our facility, it caused me to reflect on the interactions we, as the medical team, have with our patients and their loved ones.  So, do we provide clear communication to others and especially to those in our care?  What can each of us do to enhance our skills in this area?  While every patient and/or family is unique and usually requires various listening/questioning techniques to communicate a message, it is important to always consider two things: 1) Good communication begins with each and every one of us as care providers, and 2) As members of an interdisciplinary team, we all are striving for one common goal—to provide the best care and support to each of our patients and their loved ones.

A nurse recently emailed me the following story that I would like to share with you:

“A man was invited to visit heaven and hell. He first went to hell where he saw a beautiful table covered with wonderful foods.  There were long-handled spoons with which to eat the food, and this was the only way you were allowed to eat. The tortured souls wailed and anguished with hunger despite all this food because the spoon handles were too long! He then went to heaven where he saw the same kind of table and the same long-handled spoons.  Yet, these souls were quiet and well-fed because they had learned to feed one another with the long-handled spoons.” 

In relation to the ICU, every associate comes to our floor with various gifts, tools, and knowledge that impact the patient/family experience.  If we only tap into our own resources without gaining assistance from others, we will not just negatively impact and frustrate the patients and families but ourselves, too.  We will become overwhelmed, stressed, and fatigued attempting to accomplish the task alone.  Contrarily, if we “feed” into each other’s work by offering and providing assistance, we will ease the load for everyone as well as enhance the morale on the floor.  Therefore, I leave you to ponder two final questions:

What type of unit do you want to work in: a “hellish” one or a “heavenly” one? How will you use your “spoons” today?

 

 

 

As a woman who has been physically challenged all her life, I grew up with great support from my family, friends, therapists, physicians, and others who all guided me in my decision-making process and provided an extra hand in my daily living needs.  However, as I transitioned into adulthood and moved to Indianapolis to pursue my career development, I began facing the realities of my disability alone and quickly learned new coping strategies to enhance my independence.  Over the next few months, I have been given the opportunity to share my struggles and the ways I overcame them, especially in the areas of the physical, professional, personal, and perception.

When I first considered moving to Indianapolis and later a different side of the city, I began searching possible living accommodations.  Despite the backing of the Americans with Disabilities Act, this proved to be more difficult than originally thought.  For example, many apartment complexes either did not have a handicap accessible unit or made only a few modifications to get around the law.  Specifically, several did not have grab bars in the bathroom nor lowered cabinets that I could reach.  Further, they may have had handicap parking spaces, but few had enough room for me to lower the ramp on the passenger side of my van.  Therefore, I promptly discovered that I had to check out the facilities myself and not rely on the information provided on the internet.

 On another level, after a short time of living on my own, I acquired the motto: “Expect the unexpected.”  In particular, when dressing myself, I use a sock-aid to put on my socks, and occasionally, it would break in the midst of this task.  During another occasion, when preparing to drive to work, I went to my van only to find I could not get in due to the ramp door being frozen shut.  Thus, since my parents were no longer available to physically assist me, I had to develop back-up plans, such as buying an additional set of adaptive devices and/or having friends and/or neighbors to call in emergencies.

 Now, in regards to my medical needs relating directly to my disability, I sought advice and attention from various specialist who worked at Shriners’ Hospitals in different parts of the country.  As an adult, I no longer could receive these services due to my age and quickly comprehended the complications of the medical world.  Hence, when attending an appointment, I check-in, wait, am led to a private room, wait, am examined by the physician/nurse who usually has not heard of the term “arthrogryposis,” explain my diagnosis, realize that I probably will need a second opinion…the cycle continues.  Thus, with all the waiting done here, how appropriate that the medical world uses term “patient!”

 Overall, despite the plethora of struggles I have encountered regarding the physical aspects of my disability in adulthood, I have acquired three principles that have assisted me through various dilemmas.  First, do the research.  Use the internet as much as possible before exerting energy, time, and gas to check out the resources.  Second, consult with previous support systems (i.e. physicians, therapists, specialists, etc.) that were helpful during your childhood, and ask their recommendations for options for adults facing similar challenges.  Third, network with other adults with physical challenges, and ask them how they handle certain situations.

Over the last five years or so, as a hospital chaplain, I have walked alongside numerous individuals and families enduring a wide range of crises in life.   I offered a supportive presence to a woman who was learning to speak with a tracheotomy.  I prayed with a family before their child underwent major surgery and then rejoiced with them a week later as she walked across her room.  I baptized an adult before he died.  I performed a “Blessing of the Hands” ceremony for a group of nurses before the beginning of their shift.

Thus, with these difficult experiences, many have questioned, “How do you do it?  How can you handle seeing all the suffering?”  I still recall the day that hospital chaplaincy became a possibility in my mind.  Sitting with two different individuals—one professor and a career advisor—during two different hours to discuss possible internships for seminary, each asked, “Have you considered hospital chaplaincy?”  My response to both of them: “Are you nuts?!  All of my life I’ve been trying to get out of hospitals, and now you want me to work in them?!”  Having been hospitalized over twenty times and having endured numerous medical procedures, I never understood growing up why God placed a caring but competitive spirit in a physically challenged body.  However, I now realize that Lord is working through me in order to best personally relate to the patients and their families, offering them a sense of perseverance through their crisis.

No matter how tough the battle becomes, may we always know our Great Warrior will prove tough enough to overcome all evil.

Father, I give you the burdens I face today.  Walk with me, granting me wisdom, to overcome.  Demonstrate Your faithfulness, even when I may not sense Your presence.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.